* We should probably stop putting people who are preparing for the Rapture in charge of anything anymore.

* Maybe those Founding Fathers were on to something by not including anything in the Constitution about a two-party system.

* I too was once a male trapped in a female body … But then my mother gave birth.

* When posing for a photo, don’t cross your arms in front of you. It makes you look like a self-satisfied real estate agent or a showboating athlete.

* Writer and satirist Fran Lebowitz played Tampa recently at the Straz. She’s opinionated, caustic, quick and funny. She’d be great to meet at a cocktail party—not so great as a next-door neighbor.

* Electoral euphemism: Candidates don’t drop out; they permanently “suspend” campaigns.

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