Not surprisingly, the usual, flummoxed insiders leaked embarrassing details of Donald Trump’s initial foray into foreign travel and international statesmanship. Specifically, how he handled the art of world-leader small talk. Here are some LeakGate tidbits:
* Saudi Arabia’s King Salman.
“What a great arms partner you are. Just great. The military industrial complex loves you back home. And I just found out we have something else in common besides money. We hate the same country: Iran. Who knew? Melania told me on the way over.
“But I gotta tell ya. Everything about your country is great. That includes great ingenuity. Who else could get this out of a fan belt and table cloth? Just a joke. I figured it was casual Friday. Still joking, Sal.
“You know, I look at your women. They look great behind veils. But, you’re right, not so great behind the wheel.
“By the way, are you guys Sunnis or Shiites? It makes a difference, right? But, off the record, Islam does hate us, right?”
* Egyptian President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi.
“Love your shoes, Abdel. Do they come in wing tips? Nice to hang out with a Muslim who wouldn’t be offended by ‘radical Islamic extremism’ rhetoric if I were to use it. Hell, you’ve lived with those losers. But you’re a tough guy. I love tough guys. But a tough guy with a name like ‘Sissi’? Just kidding.”
* Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
“It’s nice to be with an old friend again. We’re not being taped are we? Where was I? Oh, yeah, classified information is so overrated.”
* Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas.
“Brought you a little something, Mahmoud. Maybe you’ve already read “The Art of the Deal,” I mean who hasn’t, but this one’s autographed. Could help out when you’re dealing with Netanhayu. He can be a real nut job.
“Also wanted to run some things by you about building a wall. Of course I’m kidding.”
* Pope Francis.
“Welcome, Mr. President.”
“Thank you, Your Holiness. May I call you ‘Frank?’
“By the way, you’re getting a great Vatican ambassador in Callista Gingrich. She’ll be, uh, great. Just goes to show, you know, there’s life after an affair and annulment, right? Of course, I’m kidding.”