• Politicians can be like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
  • No more “UFOs.” Because we finally know what they are? No. Because they’re now called unidentified aerial phenomena—or “UAPs.”
  • Pronouns of choice? Can be socially and grammatically awkward. How about one for all? She-her-he-him: “SHIM”
  • There’s socialism, and then there’s “socialism.” Just like there’s Denmark and there’s Cuba.
  • Sign for a smoke shop targeting evangelicals: “Jesus, Maryjane and Joseph Welcome You.”
  • T-shirt for the corpulent: “I Beat Anorexia.”
  • Palindrome update: “Go hang a salami, I’m a lasagna hog.”

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