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- Politicians can be like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
- No more “UFOs.” Because we finally know what they are? No. Because they’re now called unidentified aerial phenomena—or “UAPs.”
- Pronouns of choice? Can be socially and grammatically awkward. How about one for all? She-her-he-him: “SHIM”
- There’s socialism, and then there’s “socialism.” Just like there’s Denmark and there’s Cuba.
- Sign for a smoke shop targeting evangelicals: “Jesus, Maryjane and Joseph Welcome You.”
- T-shirt for the corpulent: “I Beat Anorexia.”
- Palindrome update: “Go hang a salami, I’m a lasagna hog.”