Another Sardonic Sampler

*As a rule, I don’t do sequels. “The Longest Yard,” no matter who scripted the plays (Jon Gruden), will not be an exception. Adam Sandler in the role made famous by Burt Reynolds? Is nothing sacred? Madonna as Mrs. Robinson? Tom Arnold as Citizen Kane? Eminem as Spartacus? Danny DeVito as Cool Hand Luke?

*Ann Bancroft, RIP. Coo, coo, ca-choo, can it really be that she was only 35 – thirty five – when she was the iconically seductive “older woman,” Mrs. Robinson? Wouldn’t that be the age of a Gen Xer today? A member of the cast of “Friends?” Or qualify one for the Greater Tampa Chamber of Commerce’s youthful subgroup, Emerge?

*Why is this so problematic? The proper response to “Thank you” is not “No problem.” It is “You’re welcome.” Thank you.

*If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. (Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.)

*For once, I’d like, in a perverse kind of way, to hear this from the cell-phone user next to me in a movie queue, supermarket line or on an adjacent stationary bike at the health club: “Just stabilize the patient; I’ll be right there.”

Instead of: “Hey-what’s-up-I’m-like-you-know-oh-my-God-like-you know

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