School Calendar Update

           Here’s hoping that when the Hillsborough County School Board meets next month, it will vet the recommendation of a committee of parents and educators that the county eliminate religious holidays beginning in 2009-10.

            Recall last year’s fiasco when classes were held, so to speak, on Good Friday. A majority of students and 40 per cent of bus drivers were no-shows. This year Good Friday falls during spring break, so the religious-holiday bullet is dodged.

But next school year will be the test. The school board should heed the committee’s advice and then plan accordingly – including acting like responsible, sectarian adults who are staying the non-religious-holiday course and managing all parties’ expectations.

            That means, among other things, acknowledging that this is not about religious insensitivity. Or selective intolerance. In truth, it’s about treating all religions equally. None will get their own holiday. And, candidly, who is to say — from animists to atheists — who else would have been queuing in that “give-us-our-religious-holiday-too” line?

            And here’s another suggestion: Rethink “Fair Day.”

            How do you make the case that you — as a school board — are to be taken seriously on such a sensitive, multi-cultural issue when you annually free up students to opt for dunk tanks, ferris wheels and corn dogs in lieu of school?

            But if you must keep the date, then, at least, re-label it. How about “Respecting Everyone’s Religion Day.” Observe it in your own way. In a church. At a mosque. At a synagogue. At home. At the County Fair.

            Good Friday? How about Much Better Friday?

Sure Signs

Two sure signs that Congress and the White House are really, really serious about helping the Big Three automakers:

First, they will throw lots of money at the problem. In this case, at least $15 billion.

Second, a car “czar” will be appointed. Nothing says kick-ass-and-take-names priority like a “czar.”

It Takes A Village

The scene could have adorned the cover of the old Saturday Evening Post. It was that Norman Rockwellian.

Beaming parents, cherubic kids and compliant pets packed the outdoor plaza of South Tampa’s Hyde Park Village. Young ballerinas and music from The Nutcracker was the center of attention. There would be a Santa sighting before it was over.

No one talked of (HPV owner) Wasserman scenarios and turbulent times for retail. What Gator game?

The focus was kids and Christmas: a never-more-important constant in a world undergoing unprecedented change.

Succeeding Obama

An intriguing – and ironic – scenario is playing out in Illinois in the wake of Barack Obama’s election as president of the United States. Obama’s senate seat was the only one held by an African-American. If Illinois Gov. Rob Blagojevich, who will make the ultimate call, doesn’t choose another African-American – such as Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. – the number of black senators will be back to zero.

This is progress?

Wrong question.

This isn’t 1991 when President George H.W. Bush had a “black seat” on the Supreme Court to fill to replace Thurgood Marshall. And that, of course, led to the cynical and controversial appointment of Clarence Thomas, Marshall’s ideological antithesis. But he was black.

In reality, a sign of progress will be Obama’s senate seat not being regarded as some kind of black sinecure.

The right question?

Who is best prepared to represent the state of Illinois – and the rest of the United States of America — in these extraordinarily challenging times?  

If that’s the colorblind query, it will be a sign that we are, indeed, continuing to make racial progress in the United States of 2008.

Dinner Party Upgrade

When someone is asked to dinner at the White House, it is normally an image-enhancing sign of status. Tampa Bay Rays’ successful and classy manager Joe Maddon and his wife Jaye Sousoures will find out the reality on Jan 4, after taking part – with five other couples – in a dinner hosted by George and Laura Bush.

Given, well, the usual givens, it might be the president who will do much of the basking in reflected glory.

Birthday Remembrances

             Some of you, I know, can empathize. The rest of you – just enjoy it a while longer.

You get to a certain age, and you have more birthdays behind you than in front of you.

And those remaining birthdays come increasingly with fewer birthday cards.

Your parents, who never forgot, are deceased. Same with that favorite aunt or uncle. Your siblings have their own kids — and maybe grandkids — who keep having these rite-of-passage birthdays.

And buddies don’t send each other birthday cards; it’s not a guy thing.

But your wife and child remember. Which, candidly, is plenty at this point.

You’re a year closer to your actuarial denouement. How celebratory do you want to get?

 But into the B-Day breach: a birthday e-mail greeting from my health club, as well as a “Happy Birthday, Joseph” greeting at the check-in counter. Then there was that personal birthday telephone call from my dentist. And another e-mail birthday acknowledgement from a friendly political maven.

Of course, this is part of modern marketing. But just the same, thanks Lifestyle Family Fitness; John Redd, DDS; and Bob Buckhorn, South Tampa neighbor. They count.

Hummer Bummer

           General Motors Corp. may just be getting serious about cost-cutting now that their top leaders embarrassed themselves before Congress and government loans seem contingent upon something other than GM saying they’re just too important to fail. Tiger Woods is out as a celebrity endorser for Buick, and GM is now studying whether it should drop some brands – such as Saturn, Saab and Pontiac.

            And — finally — Hummer.

            Suggestion: Sell off all Hummers to the Pentagon and Brinks, where they actually belong.

For The Record, Bowden Needs Even More Wins

Bobby Bowden’s timetable for stepping down as head football coach of Florida State University remains a hot topic of speculation.

Some calculate that Bowden, 79, would like to get to 400 career wins. He now has 381. Others figure that Bowden would like to overtake Penn State’s Joe Paterno, now at 383, and the all-time leader in major-college football victories. Paterno, who turns 82 in two weeks, also is on year-to-year status and subject to an ongoing, scrutinizing media watch.

Bowden personally plays down any mano a mano with Paterno. He just wants to get FSU back on top, where he used to have it, he says, and leave it in good shape for designated successor Jimbo Fisher.

But here’s another scenario for speculation. Bowden, if his health cooperates, just might want to try and coach a few more years than Paterno. But not to pad his numbers. Actually, to validate them.   

Before I continue, allow me a disclaimer. I’m a Penn State grad and a hardcore fan of the Nittany Lions and JoePa. I’ve been called worse than partisan on this issue.

At this stage of Bowden’s and Paterno’s careers, it’s largely about legacy. And Bowden’s has an asterisk. Not all of his *victories – unlike Paterno’s or, say, Bear Bryant’s – came against major competition. In fact, Bowden has 31 grandfathered wins against small schools. It’s all permissible — but not equitable — because this is about the record for MAJOR-COLLEGE wins.

Bowden (when coaching his alma mater Howard, now Samford) started with Maryville. Paterno began with Maryland. Bowden gets to count Millsaps as if it were Michigan.

And speaking of Bowden’s legacy.

To be sure, he doesn’t want to go out on an extended losing streak to Florida (now at five). He also might want to separate himself more from that unholy alliance of academic albatross and police-blotter publicity that have dogged his program all season. And, frankly, he might even want further distance from the notorious “Deion Sanders Rule” that was implemented to assure that student-athletes actually attended class during their (final) season of eligibility. You can guess the genesis of that rule.

And it would be downright sporting of Bowden to call out Seminole fans for their classless cheering when UF’s Percy Harvin was injured last week.

And then the matter of Maryville and Millsaps might not matter as much.

Maybe.                                 

Tebow Timing

It would be a bigger upset than The Citadel over Florida. Tim Tebow leaving UF early and cashing in with pro football.

From a football perspective, Tebow could use another year. As superb a talent as he is, Tebow is not a prototypical NFL quarterback. He still needs to work on his game for the next level.

From a values and priorities perspective, Tebow is predestined for things that transcend football. The NFL can wait.

He’s a Heisman Trophy winner and academic All-American who does missionary work with his family in the off-season and spring break. He’d be bigger than life if he weren’t so down to earth and humble. He’s the poster boy for clean living, the avatar for all that’s right in student-athletics and a paragon for uncompromised ideals.

Take the money and run?

Sorry, Bobby. Tebow will be back next year.