*Gasparilla is now the third largest parade in the country–after the Parade of Roses in Pasadena and Macy’s in New York. But a sure sign of the big time is when you attract the full complement of sign-carrying, street-corner evangelists. “Repent Or Perish” adds a nice, perverse touch. “Trust Jesus: Ask Me Why You Deserve Hell” could actually drive you to drink.
Personally, I preferred the purely secular “Time Flies When You’re Having Rum.”
*Given the challenges, uh, inherent in Gasparilla, it’s hard to believe no one has thought of a catheter concession. Arguably, even more important than funnel cakes and Bud Light. At some point, seems like a practical alternative to a long-lined Port-o-Let or a grassy knoll. Maybe souvenir naming rights could be part of the package. Call it “Go Hillsborough.”
* Allowing police officers to use a residence bathroom: There’s no greater look of gratitude.
* Generally speaking, spectators who attend Gasparilla for the parade are not an issue. Even those who linger late. Those on a constant loop through alleys and side streets, seemingly oblivious to an actual parade–that can’t be seen from there–are the problematic sorts.
* Police can’t be everywhere, so there are still trespissers–although not like you used to see. But context is important. Ever since the Boston Marathon, the foremost priority is ultimate national security. Security cameras, hovering helicopters and strategic deployments are not policing drunken disorderlies.
* There are plenty of city-provided trash receptacles. Too bad more aren’t utilized. It’s not all drunks with a bad aim.