Gasparilla Survived; Opinion Unchanged

            Recently I wrote a piece about the Gasparilla parades, both the children’s and the adult, Ye Mystic Krewe version. In short, I said that Ye Mystic Krude  – for self-evident reasons – needs to be moved. If not back to Monday or another era, at least to downtown – and then through to, of all places, the entertainment districts. That would ensure that what’s invaded won’t be residential neighborhoods.

Still seems like a reasonable enough alternative.

            Last Saturday’s invasion of the 350,000, including the usual besotted teens, came and went, and we all survived. In fact, the St. John’s Episcopal Church’s “Safe House” reported only one case of alcohol-induced coma. And no incidents of copulation in the church itself. And, yes, there is precedent.

Officially, 141 people were hauled in by authorities for various forms of wayward conduct. But because you can’t prove a negative, no statistics are available on how much was countenanced because, well, you can’t haul them in by the thousands.

Of course, most Bayshore Boulevard intersections – especially the one at Willow Avenue — were alcoholic mosh pits with the Bud Blight spillover filtering across residential lawns and through side streets and alleys. They, in turn, became the de facto domain of the usual trespissing and canabissing suspects.

But no deaths or serious injuries. Not unlike recent hurricane seasons, we dodged that bullet again this year. And part of that bullet’s trajectory is legal. At least one attorney has noted that if his kid were hurt at Gasparilla, he’d like his chances with an “attractive nuisance” case against the city and EventFest, the co-organizers.

The operative word here is “dodge.” Nothing’s been disarmed.

Actually, I wasn’t going to do this recap until I recently read some public statements by those who should know better.

Shannon Edge, Tampa’s director of neighborhood and community relations was incredulous when told of accounts of parade day hijinks that included public sex and indiscreet bowel movements. Plus the more pedestrian tales of fighting and landscape urinating. Her response when confronted with resident accounts of dissipation and disgust: “We were like, ‘Wow, we didn’t realize that was going on with you.’” According to the St. Petersburg Times, Edge characterized the accounts as “eye-opening” and “disturbing.”

Now, it’s official. Edge, who is an affable, conscientious liaison between City Hall and the neighborhoods, is like, in the know now. She won’t be pooh-poohing resident complaints.

The comments of Darrell Stefany, the president of EventFest, are disingenuousness at best. He told the Times that both parades are “family events from the start to the finish.” Sure, Swiss Family Robinson one week, the Manson family the next. The Ozzie Nelsons and then the Ozzie Osbournes.

He pointed out that, if indeed, residents were seeing more than they used to, it was merely a reflection of what’s seen in the popular culture.

“I think that’s more of a statement about society and culture today than it is about Gasparilla,” he noted to the Times.

No, Stefany’s dumbfounding rationale – an excuse-mongering exercise in enabling mass misconduct – is the real statement. One that truly speaks volumes about society and culture. It says that in confrontation with all that’s most deplorable about the popular culture, we adults surrender. If it’s on cable and online, it’s off limits to challenge, let alone change.

Thanks again, Darrell, for helping make it all worse.

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