Tale Of Whoa: Catching Up Is Hard To Do

For most folks, a fortnight out of the country means, among other things, a local news blackout – and a cancellation of newspapers. Given the nature of news, it’s, frankly, part of the allure — if not a flat-out inducement — to travel more. What’s the point of getting away from it all if you must come back to reading about it all?

However, if keeping current is more than a habit and commenting on the events of the day more than a rhetorical exchange at the water cooler, you can ill afford that frame-of-reference gap. “Sorry, I was in Venezuela. As a result, I know nothing about the American Institute of Architects choosing Tampa for a design and sustainability study” doesn’t work for everybody. Maybe not even for Linda Saul-Sena. Of course, not knowing that Jay-Z and Beyonce finally wed is an imposing argument for ignorance as blatant bliss.

Anyway, there they were. About a foot high. Two weeks’ worth of what happened or what continued to happen or what should have happened, including national and international items not covered in the foreign press or not glimpsed in a CNN drive-by. In a condensed window of time, it’s even more formidable.

This is what I filtered through the lens of 14 days in another hemisphere:

*Tax and budget integrity still a Florida chimera to anyone not living in the Governor’s Mansion or Mindset.

*Joe Redner planning another run for office. The exact one is immaterial.

*Headline: “Tampa police chief’s wife has filed for divorce.” Appropriate response: “So? Is this any of our business, let alone ‘news'”?

*Critics speak out about the St. Pete Grand Prix and the poor example it sets for kids because it glorifies speeding. A Grand Prix spokesman says a disclaimer is unnecessary. The GP spokesman is right: You don’t need disclaimers for the self-evident. The fact that Florida ranks third in the nation for fatalities involving illegal street racing has little, if anything, to do with the Grand Prix. It has everything to do with pre-meditated stupidity. That’s not exactly the disclaimer-adhering crowd.

*Blair Niche Project: Chalk up another. Nothing like County Commissioner Brian Blair taking a moment of personal privilege at the end of a meeting. He wanted to say something nice about the Crisis Center of Tampa Bay. So he reminded all in attendance that April was “sexual awareness month.” Actually, it is sexual assault awareness month. Close enough.

You can’t make this stuff up.

*According to Congress.org, Democratic Rep. Kathy Castor of Tampa is ranked 262nd (out of 435) in the House in getting her earmarks in the 2008 budget. But in this age of “earmark” and “pork” scrutiny, is that good? In her case, yes – especially for a rookie. And no one would confuse repairing the Platt Street Bridge with building a bridge to nowhere.

*There is actually something called the Florida Virtual School. It’s internet-based and for high-schoolers. Even includes P.E. for credit. Virtual abs?

*Headline: “McCain Turns To Jeb Bush For Education Policy Advice.” Ouch.

*Further evidence that in no way did Hogan Know Best.

*Classy move: George M. Steinbrenner Field.

*Adios. The Cleveland Indians and the Los Angeles Dodgers are the latest MLB teams to relocate from Florida to Arizona for spring training. Cincinnati could be next. It’s an unsettling pattern; nobody ever leaves Arizona for Florida.

*Another mother brought an infant into a county fire station and handed over the baby. Good for that baby. Not good for a society that needs fire stations as infant safe houses.

*Get creative: Here’s hoping the city doesn’t look askance at the developers of the 100-unit Modesto Towers, an affordable-housing addition to downtown that would come up short on traditional parking accommodations. Rather than a cause for pause, isn’t limited resident parking a plus in a downtown that doesn’t need inducements to drive, but does need truly affordable housing?

*So Sen. Barack Obama’s controversial former minister, the Irreverent Jeremiah Wright, didn’t speak here after all. Sometimes you do, indeed, add by subtracting.

*The disgust meter ratcheted up ever higher with revelations of more teachers taking more liberties with more students. Even the Today Show has noticed the notorious pattern here. And, no, it’s not likely a function of more such incidents being officially reported or something in the water. It’s a function of who’s being hired and how background checks are done. And with the onset of mandated smaller class sizes bringing the inevitable need for more teachers — and certification legerdemain — it won’t get better.

*Cell phones in schools. This much we agree on: it’s out of hand. Something else to agree on: The students are not in charge. Adults are. Their charge: Act like it.

*A reminder of how mega this market is when it comes to sports. The Grand Prix of St. Petersburg and the Women’s Final Four. In the same weekend.

*And speaking of the Final Four, doesn’t Connecticut coach Geno Auriemma look like Frankie Avalon?

*The “Huckleberry Finn” syndrome lives. Book-banning in the time warp known as Hillsborough County still in the news.

*We’ve had better Good Fridays. Fallout continues over 2,000 teachers, 100,000 students and 400 drivers taking off. Can’t blame this travesty on FCATs.

*Looks like the 2.4-mile Tampa Streetcar line will be extended farther. Lost amid the usual polarizing rhetoric is this reality: The streetcar is an important economic development tool that is a de facto starter set for a woefully overdue, meaningful light-rail downtown loop and regional system.

*A Kuhn’s age: What would it have taken for Jason “Contribute-and-Reimburse” Kuhn to have been prosecuted for campaign finance sleight of hand? A Julie Brown victory over John Dingfelder?

*Oops: That problematic $491-million commuter rail project for Orlando just got $59 million more problematic. What tight budget from hell?

*”Academic Freedom Act.” Too bad truth in advertising doesn’t apply to Florida legislative bills. A better title: “The Scopes Trial: The Sequel.”

*A book review of Susan Jacoby’s “The Age of American Unreason.” Apparently, she blames a culture of “infotainment” as a key catalyst in the dumbing down of America. Obviously, she would be correct.

*Totally understandable that a black Atlanta judge, Marvin Arrington, would clear his Fulton County court of white people so he could more effectively lower the boom on young black defendants. It was a controversial move, to be sure, but likely the sort of “Come to Jesus” meeting the defendants were otherwise unlikely to be privy to. It’s also the sort of lecture that needs inclusion amid all the Black History Month and Martin Luther King holiday rhetoric.

*A piece by syndicated columnist Walter Williams induced a flurry of letters to the editor over at the Trib. Williams’ thesis: While only about 1 percent of Muslims worldwide are fanatical jihadists, the remaining vast majority are complicit in the carnage wreaked in the name of Islam because of their relative silence. I wish I disagreed that otherwise good people weren’t, in effect, enablers. Moreover, I wish that outrage over beheadings and the use of children and the retarded as suicide bombers at least equaled the uproar over insulting cartoons. I also wish it weren’t 1 percent of 1.2 billion. That’s 12 million.

*New ideas on superdelegates. Everything but doing away with them.

*A modernized “Swanee River” is a state-song alternative. Often such historical white-washing is pure political correctness. In this case, it simply makes sense. There’s no nostalgia for the plantation days, but that is one timeless melody.

*Tampa will set aside about $2 million for a Heroes Park near the new History Center. It will memorialize everybody from Hillsborough County who died in wars. Including, presumably, the one between the states. Uh oh.

*Olympic-size outrage of China aimed at the Dalai Lama and Nancy Pelosi, the oddest couple since Donald Trump and SimDag.

*It’s been a long, frustrating season, but f
inally: “Lightning Win (Lottery).”

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