Bud Lite: Take One For The Team

Here’s a solution to Major League Baseball’s All Star dilemma.

Mandate that managers of both sides continue to substitute with abandon and try to play everyone. Keep in mind that actually “winning” the erstwhile mid-season “classic” is of little relevance any more.

This prime time exhibition is merely a forum for cameo celebrity-athlete appearances. The era of inter-league play has already removed most of the mystique, and free agency is incompatible with traditional allegiances.

Anyway, it should be further required that the All Star game must end after the regulation nine innings regardless of the score.

In the event of a tie, however, it will be decided by designated position players, who will pitch. But not to opposing batters.

Instead, they will match dead-aim tosses in a dunk-tank competition featuring buoyant Bud Lite Selig. Not only would this be a workable, entertaining compromise, it would actually reward fans who cared enough to show up or tune in — and root for a tie-breaker.

As to the rest of baseball’s problems, there isn’t a big enough dunk-tank.

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