* “Give us another couple of years to continue to work on the amazing things that we’ve been doing for the past two years.”—Vice President JD Vance. Say what? Sounds like a hoax.
* “I don’t want to cause any problems, but I’d love to see it united.”—Non-problematic President Trump on a reunion of the Republic of Ireland with the UK’s Northern Ireland.
* “They blew the hell out of Bahrain.”—That was acting Navy Secretary Hung Cao, in reference to Iranian missile damage to Naval Support Activity Bahrain, home to the U.S. Naval Forces Central Command and the U.S. Fifth Fleet.
* “I’m insulted by the notion that my vote could be bought for $5K.”—Rep. Thomas Massie, R-Ky.
* “If Michael loses, I’m not sending it (FEMA money)…No, I’m only kidding.”—That was Trump on a campaign stop in Gastonia, N.C. for Republican Senate candidate Michael Whatley, referencing federal help for parts of Western North Carolina devastated by Hurricane Helene. The blatantly begged question: But when is he not kidding? A $5K “Trump Dividend” if the GOP retains majorities in the House and Senate? Still expecting Mexico to pay for his wall?
* “Mr. (Kash) Patel is the least qualified and most partisan FBI director in our nation’s history.”—Illinois Sen. Dick Durbin of the Senate Judiciary Committee.
* FBI Director Patel defended his department’s decision to remove beastiality as an automatic disqualification for FBI employment. No, you can’t make this up.
* “Donald Trump has been the worst president this country has ever had…This is a moment of unparalleled national humiliation, of weakness.”—Republican Steve Schmidt, who was John McCain’s 2008 presidential campaign manager.
* “I think he’s gone.”—Former Trump White House attorney Ty Cobb, when asked if Trump is still mentally capable of serving as president.
* A recent White House post on social response: “Nowhere in the Constitution does it say we can’t post banger memes.” No, the Founding Fathers weren’t that prescient.