Plunder Blunder: Krewe’s Skewed View

Next year marks the centennial celebration of the Gasparilla parade. If Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla has its way — and it almost always does — 2004 will also commemorate something else: the Krewe’s own culture of self importance. That would be underscored if YMK follows through on its mandate to ban all other krewes who deign to dress as pirates for this quintessentially pirate-themed event.

As parade founders, organizers and longtime benefactors, YMK deserves its share of civic thanks for what has become Tampa’s signature event. An appropriate response would be “You’re welcome” not “cease and desist.”

Proofreading 101

We all know by now that incoming U.S. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist was instrumental in giving critical care at the scene of a fatal car crash on Alligator Alley in South Florida.

The (page-1 story and accompanying) headline in the Metro section of Friday’s Tampa Tribune (“Family That Frist Aided After Crash Lives In Tampa”) further informed us of the hometown of the crash victims.

The (page-5 story and accompanying) headline in the City & State section of that day’s St. Petersburg Times attempted to do the same thing. However, “Family treated on highway by senator from Tampa” doesn’t quite say that. Bill Nelson isn’t from Tampa, is he?

Maybe it was the holidays and a skeleton staff stretched thin. Maybe it was interns playing grown-up editors. Something was obviously misplaced besides modifiers.

Analyze This (List)

It’s tantamount to rubbernecking at a traffic accident. It’s those incessant, insipid lists that are end-of-year media staples. From the practical “Top Uses for Duct Tape” and the pretentious “Most Outrageous Sauvignon Blancs” to the pointless “Best ‘Reality TV’ Moments” and the pederastic “Worst Priests of ’02.” Whether out of simple curiosity or sheer voyeurism, we seemingly can’t help ourselves.

Exhibit A: the recent Gallup poll ostensibly determining America’s “most admired” woman.

The predictable winner: Hillary Rodham Clinton, who might not have been her husband’s first choice. Predictable first and second runners-up: First Hostess Oprah Winfrey and First Lady Laura Bush.

But here’s what rewards the voyeur in us all. Jennifer Lopez, who ranked sixth, finished ahead of Elizabeth Dole and Condoleeza Rice.

But it could have been worse, as it were. The late Mother Teresa is no longer eligible to finish behind J-Lo.

Absence Of Sense In Exam-Exemption Policy

Among the social experiments and policies in our schools that I don’t pretend to understand is the one on absences. I won’t even get into how many more religious holidays and related excused-absence days surely loom.

The case in point here is prompted by Eid al-Ftr, the Muslim celebration that marks the end of Ramadan. Students who have missed this day have regularly received excused absences. Nothing new in that. The real news is that such students will no longer have that absence count against their attendance record. That’s important because students with exemplary, especially perfect, attendance records can avail themselves of a major perk. They can be exempted from semester exams.

The exam-exemption policy, implemented in 1999-2000, was designed to improve attendance. And it’s been of some help. Average high school attendance, for example, exceeded 93 percent last year. That’s an increase of about 2.5 percentage points from the pre-exemption era. And it’s a factor in figuring a school’s grade on the state report card.

Arguably, however, it’s also a factor in the hefty hike — 74 percent from 1998-99 to 2001-02 — in school clinic visits by students showing up sick. Encouraging students to put in a cameo when ill is not a healthy — or pedagogically sound — policy.

I know I’m na

Good Samaritans Take No Holiday

In answer to a query about why the media seem so obsessed with bad news, Walter Cronkite once responded that it was “Because most people aren’t interested in all the cats that did not get stuck in trees today.” That’s true in that the unexpected and unusual is more the nature of “news.” The unbribed judge, for example, is not normally news. Cronkite’s glib response, however, doesn’t address pandering, sensationalism and ratings, but that’s another issue.

What’s been heartening, as always, is that the holiday season is accompanied by accounts of those who do for others. While we’re still reminded that the economy is dicey, terrorism palpable and storm water pervasive, we’re also mindful of the good that people do. Good for its own goodness. And it’s not just such societal stalwarts as the Salvation Army, Metropolitan Ministries or The Spring. It’s also individuals just doing the right thing because it needed doing immediately.

The twin towers of heroic, Good Samaritanism are Army Staff Sgt. Scott Gellin and University of South Florida basketball player-high jumper Jimmy Baxter. Gellin saved a drowning 12-year-old girl who had fallen into Tampa Bay, and Baxter pulled out two men trapped in a submerged car in a drainage ditch along I-275.

Whether “Heroism Happens” becomes a bumper sticker staple or not, the point is that there has never been a better time to focus on the good in a world increasingly impacted by evil and cynicism. Thanks, Scott and Jimmy, we needed that.

Also answering needs were numerous individuals, organizations and companies across the Tampa Bay region. They range from Tampa’s Hawkins Electric making sure that the Interbay Boys & Girls Club had a heated pool to the Bucs’ Keenan McCardell playing Santa to needy kids to the gardening efforts of students at Philip Shore Elementary School, who donated produce to the homeless.

There are a lot of good stories out there because there are a lot of good people out there. It’s not always “news.” But always important. Now more than ever.

The Art Of Observation

I guess we’re supposed to be flattered, but frankly I hope we’ve grown beyond the point where we are ecstatic that others see us as more than a lot of sun, sand and salty water. Case in point: the recent visit by a Boston Globe journalist who was impressed that we were not culturally challenged. The writer “discovered top-notch museums” that “offer art, education and hands-on activities for children.”

The Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg drew the biggest raves — and well it should have. If ever the banality “world class” applied to anything around here, it applies to the Dali. Its renown is truly international. Sorry to sound like an ingrate, but “the jewel in the crown of St. Petersburg museums” is faint praise.

Also finding favor with the Globe journalist were St. Petersburg’s Museum of Fine Arts and the Florida Holocaust Museum, as well as Tampa’s children-focused Museum of Science and Industry and The Florida Aquarium. As for the lower (pre-Vinoly) profile Tampa Museum of Art, it wasn’t mentioned. Not only is TMA very hands-on in its outreach programs to elementary students, but it possesses the finest antiquities collection in the Southeast.

So, thank you for acknowledging that we are much more than sun-and-fun Philistines, but please do your homework next time.

Skewed Salaries at USF? — Look At The Record

This is in reply to the reader who wrote regarding my noting a recent University of South Florida milestone: the salary of football coach Jim Leavitt surpassing that of USF President Judy Genshaft.

Babe Ruth was once asked how he justified making more money than the president of the United States (Herbert Hoover). “I had a better year,” responded Ruth.

Iorio Ponders As Mayor’s Race Cranks Up

Enjoy it while it lasts.

This political lull, that is, before the mayoral race cranks up — and likely gets down and dirty — after the holidays. The gubernatorial and county commission primaries and elections kept much of the mayoral machinations below public radar in 2002. Not so in the truncated new election year. It will be an all-out, bombast-away campaign through the March 4 election to the run-off on the 25th.

It’s a given that Frank Sanchez will be further characterized as a return-of-the-native carpetbagger in need of a long learning curve. Expect to see him skewered over his affiliation with the Bill Clinton Administration, where he was assistant secretary of transportation.

Look for Bob Buckhorn to be further flayed for ambition portrayed as blind and calculated and priorities parodied as too enamored of potholes and six-foot ordinances.

Charlie Miranda will be referenced, albeit more politely, as an old school Luddite with a narrow base. Not having an ATM card or a high-speed internet connection won’t be seen as a folksy quirk in a high-tech age.

Don Ardell will just keep reminding folks that he is not to be taken seriously.

And then there’s Pam Iorio, the highly visible, highly regarded Patron Saint of Elections.

An early Christmas stocking stuffer was that recent poll commissioned by friends that showed her with big margins over the competition. The results, says Hillsborough County’s Supervisor of Elections, were better than expected.

“Frankly, I needed convincing,” acknowledges Iorio. “I had totally taken myself out of the race. I had totally focused on the election.”

The poll, which had her blessing, was reassuring, she says.

“I’ve gotten a lot of positive reinforcement this year,” Iorio says, “and it’s been occurring every single day of my life for the last six months. Yet, you don’t want to read too much into that. But I’ve been in public life for 18 years, and that didn’t happen for the first 17.

“Now this poll, which I think was very objective, showed a lot of popular public support,” adds Iorio. “I think it’s reflective of a larger pool of public opinion out there. I also think it demonstrates that there’s still a void in this race.”

For the record, Iorio doesn’t see herself as “wavering” in her decision, which will be announced right after the holidays. “I’m being analytical,” she notes.

And could she make up for lost time? “Whether or not I can raise a certain amount of money in a short period of time is a factor,” Iorio concedes. “I think I will be able to. But money is not the most important thing.”

So will she? “I’m going to wait until after the Christmas tree comes down,” she says. “However, I’m much more encouraged than discouraged.”

Which hardly sounds like “no.”

Conventional wisdom, which may be as wise as it is conventional in this case, says that an Iorio candidacy most impacts Sanchez. He has, for example, key supporters who were on the early Iorio bandwagon. They’ll remain with Sanchez, but it underscores the overlap.

Sanchez’s take on candidate Iorio? “She is a good public servant and a good supervisor,” he says. “I don’t think we’ll be doing anything differently no matter who else gets in the race. Beyond that, I don’t want to get into the analyst business.”

He is, however, very much in the battle plan mode, he underscores, preparing for “an air and ground attack.” He’s even added savvy media meister Kevin Kalwary as a press secretary for the final push.

“I’m focused on implementing our campaign plan and getting our message out,” he says. “And it’s about to be unleashed. This is grass roots the likes of which this city has never seen. We’ll be mounting very strong direct mail and TV campaigns. In mid-January I’ll be on TV, and I won’t come off until election day.

“I’ve been at this for 11 months,” Sanchez points out. “We’ve raised the money we need. We have 1,000 volunteers. We’re geared up.”

As for Buckhorn, he had appraising grace for Iorio as well as a rationale for why her entry wouldn’t alter his status.

“Pam is eminently qualified, a very viable opponent and clearly raises the level of debate,” he says. “But from my perspective, it doesn’t affect me at all. We enjoy a loyal, solid base that isn’t going to be swayed by the flavor of the month.”

But what of that poll?

“That’s a temporary snapshot,” reasons Buckhorn. “Pam is coming off an election cycle with a lot of free press. And you expect that. But does that translate into good governance? That’s up to the voters.

“And frankly, I don’t intend to talk about her during the campaign. I’m not running against her. I’m running for something. For mayor, the CEO of this city.”

Charlie Miranda stayed true to form. Blunt and deadpan.

“With polls, it’s a matter of which one do you believe,” noted Miranda. “Everybody’s got one but me. It’s a waste of money. It can tell you something that you want it to say.”

But he definitely believes in welcome mats. The more, the merrier for Miranda.

“I welcome Pam Iorio to the race,” he says. “In fact, I say to her: ‘Just go on and do it. It’s not hard to say yes.’

“The public should have a variety of choices,” maintains Miranda. “I’m looking for three or four more. It helps me. My base knows I’m ‘Plain Charlie.” I don’t candy coat; I’m only about the facts. My base is not going to move, waver or change. You can’t say that about the other candidates. I’m gonna sit back and watch this for a while.”

A Lott To Learn from Gore

Al Gore took one for the team and, make no mistake, one for himself. Trent Lott should be taking notes.

In the case of Gore, the former vice president could see that he was not generating the kind of genuine enthusiasm or book sales a candidate — even one with a presidential popular vote majority in 2000 — would need to unseat an incumbent president with impressive poll numbers. Moreover, Gore would also need to overcome the duplicity of Democratic Party Chairman Terry McAuliffe and Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Gore, however, rightfully gets credit for doing the right thing.

By opting out now, he gives other candidates more time and exposure to make their cases to the Party and to the voters. More importantly, he doesn’t prolong the possibility that a Gore nomination would inspire a retrospective grudge match with President Bush. A Gore-Bush replay would inevitably focus America on the recent rancorous past — and not the future. That’s a skewed priority that this country — beset with a tenuous economy and a worrisome war on terrorism — can ill afford.

Of course, Gore’s decision is self-serving. Right now the tea leaves don’t look good for any Democratic challenger in 2004. The Dems’ next best shot is in ’08. That’s when the electorate — possibly poised for another presidential pendulum swing — may be looking nostalgically at the Clinton-Gore economic record.

So, good move, Al. You’re still viable in the “never say never” election year of 2008. Plus you get Party plaudits for stepping down early when your sheer name recognition had you topping any ’04 Democratic wannabe field. You also got a “Saturday Night Live” gig you might not have been offered had you announced your no-run plans a couple weeks earlier.

Now it’s on to being a statesman and a reasoned, yet outspoken, voice of the loyal opposition who still has at least another campaign in him. Just don’t revisit the class warfare strategy. Look decisive, not divisive.

On balance, well done, Al. Your Party thanks you — and you did yourself a favor. How’s that for a two-fer?

As for Lott, the Senate Majority Leader To Be (Again) should do everyone — except the Democratic Party — a favor and resign. Preferably yesterday. Senator, at least look like you’re taking one for the team. In reality, of course, you’re merely pre-empting the embarrassingly inevitable: being voted out like a “Survivor” loser.

By staying on — for however long — you have become the Democrats’ favorite high profile Republican, a virtual mole. For as long as you hang tough, the Party is precluded from expanding its influence and appeal among black Americans. You cast shadows of disingenuousness and racism on Republican stands ranging from welfare reform to the minimum wage. By your groveling in sucking up to blacks, you are no longer credible — to any constituency — on racially sensitive issues such as affirmative action. Now you’re FOR it?

And one more thing. Enough of the Dixiecrap and enough of the apologizing.

Unless you want to apologize for not resigning yet and then apologize for taking so long before you finally do it. In which case, apology accepted.

Iranian Experience: More In Common Than Conflict

This forum has taken up the subject of Islam — as in, it IS about Islam — several times since 9/11. No need to repeat the refrain. But recent events out of Iran, where security forces continue to battle thousands of student protestors, have prompted further reflection. The protests are picking up in frequency and ferocity. They are unabashedly political, pro-Western and pro-Democracy.

I was in Iran prior to 9/11, and now feel increasingly compelled to revisit the experience for perspective. And hope.

Ultimately we have more in common than conflict with most people, Muslims included. We have nothing in common with evil zealots, but we have enough in common with the rest. And that’s good, because one-fifth of the planet practices Islam.

Tehran is a noisy, nondescript, motorcycle-and-car clogged city of more than 10 million people — most of whom appear to be crossing the street at any given time. It’s also the capital of an official Islamic republic where an estimated half the population of 70 million is under 21. Two-thirds are under 25. They’re not particularly interested in repealing the 21st century — or revisiting “Great Satan” rhetoric.

The worst kept secret in this “axis of evil” theocracy is that there are double standards and privilege — just like in non-theocracies. The gated communities of North Tehran still stand in unegalitarian contrast to the impoverished communities of South Tehran. Foreign videos, stylish ensembles, chic coiffures and very open bars remain the cloistered rage behind certain stately, closed doors. American television is beamed in by satellite. “Baywatch” may be the most popular program in Iran.

Societal contrasts are as blatant — and ubiquitous — as Iran’s well-wrapped women, otherwise renowned for their beauty. Although most of their femininity is shrouded in public, their shopping habits aren’t: chadored speed bumps cruising through gold and diamond stores.

Along the streets of major cities such as Tehran, Shiraz and Isfahan, it’s common to see modern office buildings juxtaposed to magnificently tiled, minaretted mosques. Colorful billboards draw the eye to commercial messages for toothpaste, pasta, toilets and mobile phones, as well as ideological ones featuring Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, (his successor) Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, (the wary reformist) President Mohammad Khatami and martyrs du jour .

Pragmatism is alive and well evidenced by tourism strategies that exploit remnants of the reviled reign of the late Shah. His well-maintained, palace-dotted estate in North Tehran, for example, is now open to visitors — notably Germans, Japanese and French — as are museums that feature the Crown Jewels and the Peacock Throne. And dour likenesses of Khomeini are everywhere available — and still selling like kabobs — on postcards, pins, paintings, posters and probably placemats.

The people I met along the way — and yes, there are mild mannered mullahs — were uniformly open, gracious and typically taken aback — seemingly flattered — by an American in their midst. Some NATO allies haven’t been so hospitable.

The reality is that for Iran, there are more threatening villains than the erstwhile “Great Satan.” Iraqis, after all, are the real — eight-years-worth-of-devastating-war — enemy. When Iranians just want to feel superior — beyond being non-Arab, Farsi-speaking Persians — there’s always the lowly Afghanis, who were even then straining resources as refugees from Taliban barbarities.

Now more than a dozen years removed from the death of ultimate zealot Khomeini, there’s a sense that so much that impacts Iranian lives today — U.S. trade sanctions notwithstanding — has increasingly little to do with America and nothing to do with Americans. It has much more to do with Osama bin Laden, oil prices, refugee problems, a population explosion, xenophobic attitudes, theocratic bullying and governmental meddling in the economy.

Iranian opinion

I’ll cite two, arguably representative, Iranians, whom I believe spoke for more than themselves:

*Akbar Heshani of Isfahan is well-traveled, educated, fluent in English and successful in the Persian carpet business. He makes frequent forays into the desert to buy carpets directly from nomadic tribes. But he has the world view of someone who has lived in the West.

“First of all, I think America is a great country, and I love Americans,” said Heshani. “I think a lot of Iranians would say the same thing.

“But there’s also a lot — at least to me — that doesn’t make good sense. You have more freedoms than we do, and I won’t kid you, a lot of average Iranians would like more access to the internet, better television and videos, wine to drink at a restaurant, and so forth.

“But we don’t think, quite honestly, that Americans handle their freedoms with responsibility,” stated Heshani. “Your ‘free press’ is also free to pander to the worst in human nature. In fact, your media helped make the hostage situation, which was shameful and regrettable, much worse by playing to the crowd, which was the same 500 ‘students’ night after night at the U.S. Embassy. Your entertainment media gets violent and pornographic, and it’s reflected in kids getting murdered in your schools. With a ban on alcohol, we don’t have Iranians killing each other on the highways.

“I know this seems so repressive to Americans, but we don’t want your excesses,” added Heshani. “But as for our young people, who weren’t around for the Revolution, I think they would like some excess. I guess all young people do.”

*Eighteen-year-old Sepideh Siroos was studying architecture at the University of Tehran. Articulate in English, she chose her words carefully, well aware that nearby school officials were monitoring conversations between Iranian students and American visitors, especially the one who was a writer.

“I do not like the veil, especially in the summer,” she said. “But older women don’t seem to mind it so much.”

On a touchier subject: “President Khatami is a good man, but a lot of students want more change, more freedom. There is too much, how do you say, regimentation. You can’t think for yourself. I’m sorry, that is the third time I have been warned to leave this subject. You speak, please