Chairman Mel

So, Mel Martinez for chairman of the Republican National Committee. The timing, to be sure, couldn’t be better. Chairman Mel obviously needs another challenge, and fortunately he has time to spare.

It’s the sort of national responsibility you undertake after a classy senatorial win over Betty Castor; two seamless years learning the Senate ropes; an open-minded, humane approach to the Cuban embargo and travel policies; and more than ample time mastering the details of your constituents’ myriad needs.

Mel Martinez, George Bush’s Hispanic lawn jockey, now makes it official and will work even harder for the party — whatever the cost back home.

Front Page Affront

Remember the front page? You know, the really important stuff making headlines across your morning newspaper.

If there were a recent story more unworthy of page-one, above-the-fold status than the dumpster-diving at Mel Sembler’s, then it was surely the bloated feature about long lines for PlayStation at a Best Buy store. One ( St. Petersburg Times ) seemed a blatant device to pump up circulation, the other ( Tampa Tribune ) Exhibit A for the trivialization of the news.

The Name Game At FSU

Jeff Bowden finally did the right thing by announcing his resignation — effective at the end of the regular season — as Florida State University’s offensive coordinator. But it wasn’t the honorable thing. That had to be done a few years ago – when it was apparent he was in over his head and could have saved his dad, head coach Bobby Bowden, national notoriety as well as the embarrassing wrath of incensed bloggers, disgruntled boosters and outraged alums.

When you devise a one-of-a-kind, nepotism workaround for an employee – one who had not otherwise earned his position but makes more than $140,000 a year – nothing good can ultimately come of it. Nothing did.

Jeff Bowden, of course, hasn’t been the lone reason for FSU’s fallen fortunes, but he’s no mere scapegoat. And others will likely follow. Only they won’t leave with a $537,500, five-year (garnet and) golden parachute, courtesy of Seminole Boosters.

On balance, good call, coach. Finally.

And speaking of 77-year-old Bobby Bowden, despite the tougher times, many observers and pundits have maintained that he has more than earned the right to call his own shot in terms of stepping down. This is an understandable, well-intentioned but misplaced priority.

All the wins, all the championships and all the national prestige and revenues have been commensurately rewarded with handsome 7-figure salaries, bonuses, TV deals and even a statue and a field named in his honor. But the fact remains irrefutable; he’s just a coach, albeit a very successful one, in the context of higher education. It’s hardly the academy’s highest calling. And there have been times, lest we forget, when Bobby looked the other way on matters academic – such as Dion Sanders playing in a bowl game after he had stopped going to classes.

If we were talking about a distinguished professor who had won a Nobel Prize or discovered a cure for a fatal disease, this call-your-own-shot conversation would be a no-brainer. In fact, the question would be a rhetorical one.

But we’re talking about a football coach, even if his name is Bobby Bowden and his victories outnumber everybody else’s. The Bobby Bowdens – and the Joe Paternos – are not bigger than their universities.

Dadgummit, they just aren’t.

A Football Sampler

*I was reminded early on why I don’t watch Monday Night Football when the Bucs aren’t on it, which is almost never. Last week’s Bucs-Carolina Panthers game – and its continuity – became subordinate to NASCAR talk for a lengthy stretch in the first half. That’s when race-car driver Jeff Gordon joined everybody else in the ESPN booth for too long. It’s part of ESPN’s show-biz outreach shtick. Thanks for nothing, including Joe Theismann sharing his experience – complete with video footage — of driving a race car.

Too bad such irrelevant intrusions can’t be confined to halftime – but that, or course, would run afoul of the insightful world of Michael Irvin and friends.

*Anyone else of the opinion that football referees increasingly need to be reminded of a basic rule of thumb: Some of the best calls are no-calls. If it’s that close – notably pass interference or a punt-return clip – then don’t call it. Let the players determine outcomes.

*For a while, player celebrations – especially group choreography – was way out of hand, unless you were among those who liked cheap, lounge-act theatrics with your football. What’s now getting out of hand, however, are the penalties being called for same. They give arbitrariness a bad name.

The best way to deal with the sophomoric, look-at-me antics? A crackdown in high school by coaches who must underscore that winning and playing with some class is not some old-school incongruity. Nobody knows the difference between enthusiasm and showing off better than coaches. Then continue that discipline at the university level. And then get the networks on board so that cameras don’t linger on swaggering boors who can’t control themselves.

*Gov.-elect Charlie Crist got some voice time on the telecast of that infamous Florida State-Wake Forest game. That’s because the FSU alum also attended WFU and actually walked on as a quarterback. It was also because that woeful game actually needed some kind of diversion.

ABC play-by-play announcer Brent Musberger eventually piped in with some trivia, saying Crist is known for being wonkish about school mascots and nicknames. Whereupon color analyst Bob Davie inquired: “So, what’s the nickname for Youngstown State?” Crist didn’t know, but faster than you can say “the people’s governor,” he unflappably (and correctly) offered up the “Rockets” as the nickname for another Ohio school, the University of Toledo. Close enough.

Youngstown, of course, is the “Penguins.”

Respect — Not

“With all due respect,” Mr. Dangerfield.

Ever notice how often that rhetorical device seeps into the line of questioning — especially of an authority figure? It was never more apparent than at President George W. Bush’s day-after press conference last week. More than a few Washington press corps queries — and follow-ups — had that same preface.

Just out of curiosity, when was the last time that phrase was ever followed by anything even remotely resembling respect?

Castro Speculation

Speculation remains rife about what exactly has been ailing Cuban President Fidel Castro. Those purporting to know are adamant in their claims that Castro is suffering from colon cancer.

Foreign Minister Felipe Perez Roque backed off an earlier assertion that Castro would be back on the job by December – or would even be up to attending a delayed celebration of his 80th birthday next month.

“Borat” Top “Grossing” Movie

Last week the top grossing, as it were, movie was “Borat: Cultural Learning of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” at $26.8 million. I have no plans made for to see it.

Not that the critics are panning it. Quite the contrary. Across the board, those, for example, representing the New York Times, Boston Globe, Philadelphia Inquirer, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, USA Today, St. Petersburg Times, Entertainment Weekly and Metacritic.com have rated it “Don’t miss.”

So maybe this is my loss, but I’ll chance it. I was ultimately deterred after reading the review by Bob Ross of the Tampa Tribune, who thought “Borat” worthy of a B+ — whatever that means these days.

“If racial slurs, gratuitous nudity (we’re talking nude male wrestling) and disgusting body-waste jokes nauseate you, don’t come to this one without a barf bag,” suggested Ross.

Thanks for the bag-of-barf head’s up, Bob, as well as further convincing that I’m an alien in my own mainstream culture.

Election Nightcaps

*High drama this was not. Kathy Castor was the overwhelming favorite in the 11th District congressional race against unknown Republican Eddie Adams. She won overwhelmingly with nearly 70 per cent of the vote.

For all intents, the real challenge in this heavily Democratic district had taken place in the September primary when State Senator Les Miller, among others, had been defeated. Overall, the Castor campaign raised more than $1.2 million. The Adams campaign less than $25,000. Another day at the office.

So the election-watch party was at the modest campaign headquarters in Hyde Park. Talk turned early to the national races and the likely Democratic capture of the U.S. House of Representatives. The latter was especially relevant given Castor’s designs on the House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee.

Both of Castor’s parents were in Palm Beach, where Frank Castor, Kathy’s brother, was being elected county judge. And U.S. Rep.-elect Castor, along with campaign manager Clay Phillips, had already left for the Alex Sink party by 9:15 p.m.

*Over at the Jim Davis gathering at the Grand Hyatt Tampa Bay, the Associated Press had called the gubernatorial race for Charlie Crist before 10 p.m. That meant for more than an hour that most dreaded of post-election rituals, the concession-speech countdown, had begun.

Those over-sized “Time For A Change” banners seemed to mock the moment. Party faithful, 20-something volunteers and elected officials reduced to waiting for Bill Heller and Charlie Justice updates.

Finally Jim Davis and family. Still the high road. Gracious in defeat. Now was not the time to reflect on a less-than-textbook campaign effort. Nor to bemoan the ineffectual response to the empty chair ad or assail the “had lunch with terrorists” cheap shots. In a concession to bi-partisanship, Davis acknowledged that Crist “will need our help.”

And, then, in a notably blunt concession to reality: “You know there was more money (an estimated $50 million by Crist and the GOP) spent against me then any campaign in the history of Florida.”

Dick Greco: The Statue

Oops. The gathering of those underwriting a commissioned statue of former Mayor Dick Greco, 73, was last Tuesday. Election day. Among the many who had political obligations and itineraries that day: Dick Greco. When he left the nostalgia and well wishing at the Tampa Marriott Waterside Hotel and Marina, he had to hustle to the WFLA radio studios where he teamed up with Jack Harris for election-day analysis.

The statue will pose a contemporary Greco (his idea) on a bench – legs crossed and one arm draped over the top of the bench. A likely site: TECO’s Southern Transportation Plaza between the Marriott and the Convention Center. Cost: $50,000. Already raised: approximately $40,000. Target date for unveiling: November 2007. The sculptor: Tampa’s Steve Dickey, whose acclaimed work already includes prominent likenesses of iconic Tampa figures Roland Manteiga, Nick Nuccio, Tony Pizzo, Al Lopez and the Gonzmarts — Cesar and Adela.

Greco, now executive vice president for Lindell Properties, was on his game at the Marriott reception. To wit:

*It really is a strange feeling. I feel awkward. I’ve seen a number of Steve’s works. Excellent. But they’re all dead.”

*”There was talk of whether it should be (30-something) me in the early years or (60-something) later. One friend said, ‘Just dip him in bronze for the best likeness.'”

*”I’m very grateful. I’m still alive. I’m gonna start jogging tomorrow.”

*”If some good looking girl sits there, I’d probably come back to life.”

As for Dickey, 57, he acknowledges how unique it is to work with a live subject.

“Normally I just deal with families,” he says. They provide photos and insider input, and he goes from there.

For the Greco project, Dickey will shoot 360-degree photos. Later there will be formal sittings. “It helps to know the subject,” he explains, “and that transfers. You watch the features at work.

“But, yes, there’s extra pressure,” concedes Dickey. “I mean the individual is right there. It’s gotta be right. I have to come up with something that looks human. We’re not talking about memories here.”

While he will still be soliciting opinions from family and friends, Dickey stresses that this isn’t art by committee. “Opinions I need, and they’re valuable,” he underscores, “but at the same time, the buck stops here.”

As for Greco, if he doesn’t like the finished product, he can always sit on the bench and simply be beside himself.