J School Gems

     Jon Stewart’s rhetorical dismemberment of CNBC’s gimmicky, histrionic stockpicker Jim Cramer made big media news last week. And justifiably so.

     The Daily Show host stepped out of his parody role to turn avenging angel and skewer Cramer as an enabling profiteer. It was good TV – and, ironically, good journalism on the part of the faux anchor. Stewart probed where none dared go before – at media brethren whose stock in trade are rants, touts and hyperbole about short-term sacrosanctity.  Some things should be too important for show business.

     It should already be considered a classic. 

     Only ego could have prompted Cramer to accept Stewart’s invitation to self-destruct.

     But what didn’t draw nearly as much attention was Chris Mathews’ thrust-and-parry interview with Ari Fleischer, the former White House spokesman under President George W. Bush, on Hardball.

     Journalism schools would be well advised to archive both videos.

     As much as I disagree with Fleischer on the Bush White House impact on America and the world, I salute his rhetorical skills and preparation ethic for on-the-record encounters. Then and now. He’s fast on his feet, is a good listener, does his homework and has a sense of humor.

     Mathews was the perfect foil — and in many ways Exhibit A for what’s wrong with politics as a prime-time TV staple. It must be good theater above all else. That means conflict. Thus, provocative gotcha questions. Inaccurate paraphrasing. Constant interruptions.

     A lesser guest, especially of a polar-opposite ideology, might have been intimidated, if not destroyed.

     Fleischer wouldn’t be bullied and wouldn’t be interrupted. He called out Mathews for being “disingenuous” when Mathews took liberties with a Fleisher quote about the Bush Administration’s notoriously wrong call about Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. Fleischer had admitted the administration was “wrong,” but not “dishonest” as Mathews mis-characterized his phrasing back then.

     The lesson: Be well-prepared; pay close attention to your inquisitor; and don’t be bullied. And you can win with a losing hand.

Hoops Annual Dance

     Although it was more muted than some other years, there was still carping from some schools whose basketball team didn’t get chosen for the NCAA tournament that ultimately decides the national champion.

     Florida for one had no case and didn’t attempt to make one. It didn’t deserve to be one of the 65. But some others in its conference, the Southeast, complained. The SEC only had three invitees.

     Put it this way. You’re not the best team in your conference. Or the next-to-best. Or the next-to-the-next-to-the best.  How deserving are you of going to anything that purports to crown a national champion? That’s why there’s an NIT.

     Actually, the unheralded, lesser likes of Chattanooga and Radford, who actually had to win something to get in, embody an indispensable part of “March madness.” These are the contemporary Hoosiers, the non-marquee schools that get to play their given-day-anything-can-happen, David cards against the usual hoops Goliaths.

Gasparilla: The Street Party From Hell

            Gasparilla – as in “How bad has it really gotten?” — continues to be in the news. Most recently, there was that high-profile meeting of city officials, police and the parade co-sponsor to hear the concerns of South Tampa residents. It’s their neighborhood that the Gasparilla Pirate Fest – the “adult,” Ye Mystic Krewe version – invades, in effect, each year.

The problem, which was well underscored, is that while Bayshore Boulevard is a gorgeous, linear-park venue, it’s ill-suited to a parade with 350,000 or more spectators. With bleachers and corporate tents pre-empting most of the space on the Hillsborough Bay side, the overwhelming majority of those in attendance are forced to the opposite, residential side.

What has resulted is the street party from hell – featuring thousands of drunks and punks, many of them teenagers, coursing through alleys, side streets and yards. The parade is incidental. The 1,200 police are woefully inadequate and have to be “judicious” – in the words of Police Chief Stephen Hogue – about picking their spots for arrests. They let, necessarily, a lot go without responding. Any arrest takes more than an hour to process.

Some outtakes and observations from the intense, often emotional, gathering:

·                           The devil is in the details – not the euphemisms. Words such as “rowdy”, “boorish” and bawdy are misleading. These homeowners spoke of graphic, ground-zero reality: from public urination, defecation, sex and property break-ins to vomiting, fighting and landscape trashing.

·                           Some homeowners were furious about the costs (fencing and off-duty officers) of property protection – often into four figures. It cost one condominium association $6,000 to fortify its site.

·                           “It’s out of hand. We’ve got to do better.” – Rose Ferlita, Hillsborough County Commissioner and Hyde Park resident.

·                           You know it’s more than your basic vent session when residents drop terms like “inverse eminent domain” and “attractive nuisance.” But down-right alarming was one gun-owning home-owner confirming with police his right to self protection when drunks unlawfully enter his home. And, indeed, some had at this year’s event.

·                           Part of the issue – and it largely goes unspoken unless a brouhaha ensues – is one of class. As in the image of South Tampa “elites.” As in: “Too damn bad. You’re rich enough to live there. Deal with the common folks enjoying themselves.” (This sort of perverted proletarian piffle was all over the TBO.com online reader commentary following the Tampa Tribune’s story about the meeting and resident complaints.)

·                           The corollary: “You shouldn’t have moved to a place with a parade. You knew that. It’s like moving to a golf course community and complaining when a golf ball comes in your yard.”

·                           The reality: No, it’s more like moving to a golf course community, only to have it convert to a Hip-Hop-themed miniature golf course with a gang-bangers’dunk tank next to your kids’ swing set.

·                           “We are not your adversary on this…We don’t condone underage drinking and indecent exposure…We will continue to have this dialogue…The city, (co-sponsor) Event Fest and the (Ye Mystic) Krewe will meet and get back to you. We will meet again 60 days from now for options.” – Santiago Corrada, Tampa’s neighborhood services coordinator.

   I’ll report back.

Bowden’s Record*

            Enough of the hand-wringing about the possibility that Florida State University football coach Bobby Bowden may lose seven wins off of his record because of FSU’s academic scandal in 2007. If Bowden, 79, gets docked – and FSU is appealing – his career wins total will drop from 382 – or one behind Penn State’s Joe Paterno – to 375. 

In reality, Bowden, shouldn’t even be within eight of Paterno, 82. All of Paterno’s wins have come against major collegiate competition. Bowden has 31 grandfathered wins against small schools. For example, Paterno’s first (PSU) win was against Maryland. Bowden (while at Howard, now Samford) started with a victory over Maryville.

            Bowden gets to count Millsaps as if it were Michigan. In truth, if the FSU appeal is turned down, he should consider himself fortunate to be within eight of Paterno, not unlucky to lose seven because his program got caught cheating.   

Hypocrite Community College

            A solution – of sorts – has been reached in the disagreement between the city and Hillsborough Community College regarding design guidelines for HCC construction in Ybor City. In a compromise between Mayor Pam Iorio and HCC President Gwen Stephenson, HCC will be exempt from needing Barrio Latino Commission approval.

            The upshot for HCC, which has contended that the city’s historic preservation guidelines don’t apply to them, is that they have also been granted other – de facto – exemptions when it comes to building in Ybor. They are obviously exempt from: historical integrity, community aesthetics, architectural relevance and higher educational leadership.

Exam Policy Exempt From Sense

          As surely as we will count pollen, we can depend on the annual story about  Hillsborough County schools’ examination-exemption policy. And apparently we’re still allergic to sense. This policy continues to make none.

            In an effort to incentivize students to come to school, (yes, you read that correctly) Hillsborough started the exemption system a decade ago. Some of the requirements:

*Keep at least a C average in the class. Seriously, a C.

*Zero absences in every class equals four exemptions in the first semester

  and three in the second.

*Missing three days means two exam exemptions. Missing two days

  means one exempt exam.

            Inevitably, the policy led to two developments.  Some exemption-seeking students have come to school even when they are sick – thus contributing to others’ absences. And students and parents can be counted on to lobby for more leniency. To wit: Must family emergencies be counted? What about special-needs students? Etc.

            But just for argument’s sake, let’s try on this, however haplessly old-school, rationale. If a semester exam has value and validity, it has to be taken. By everybody.

It should assess what – cumulatively – has been learned by students. This is beyond quizzes and tests. If designed properly, an exam is a valuable pedagogical tool – not some superfluous, end-of-semester annoyance or attendance-motivating, educational carrot.

            One other point. Apologies to Woody Allen, but since when did just showing up count so much? 

Gasparilla: An Inconvenient Truth

Each year, a month or so after the Gasparilla Pirate Fest, city officials, the police chief and Darrell Stefany, president of Gasparilla co-sponsor Event Fest, gather to assess things. That is, to make the next year’s parade even better.  And to lessen the inevitable inconvenience to local residents — those who literally bear the brunt of the Bayshore Boulevard parade route that parallels, abuts and necessarily encroaches upon their South Tampa neighborhoods.     

The typical result of such gatherings: some fine tuning on crowd control, traffic flow, trash-receptacle placement, corporate seating and port-o-let logistics.

A few neighbors would also put in a token appearance. There was a debriefing, and complaints were defused. After all, this was Tampa’s signature parade. There were few like it anywhere. And there were studies that showed meaningful economic impact.

The implied message to locals: “Take one for the team. Of course, there will be issues. Stuff happens. Parades come with crowds. And crowds often come decorum-challenged. It is what it is. We understand your concerns; we’re doing our best; but it’s only one day a year.”

And, on balance, it was tolerable enough. There really was an era that predates a need for a “safe house” and teens winding up in alcohol-induced comas.

The key city players would touch base with each other again in December to gear up for the next parade.

This year, however, the parade post-mortem was anything but routine.

Last week Neighborhood Services Coordinator Santiago Corrada, Tampa Police Chief Stephen Hogue and Event Fest’s Stefany were at Kate Jackson Recreation Center in Hyde Park to answer resident questions about Gasparilla. This time about 60 locals squeezed into the venue to voice their considerable anxieties. Also in attendance: Hyde Park resident and Hillsborough County Commissioner Rose Ferlita, a representative from City Councilman John Dingfelder’s office, an associate dean of students at the University of Tampa and the headmaster of Tampa Prep – all there to add their voices of concern and/or hear what the collective buzz was.

What Corrada, Hogue and Stefany heard was anything but input on fine-tuning or even the chronic carping of dyspeptic complainers. This was a serious vent vehicle – a chorus of the incensed and frustrated intent on speaking truth to power. Residents were articulate, impassioned, graphic, worried and disgusted.

The parade, they maintained, was no longer a mere “inconvenience.” Euphemisms such as “rowdy” and “revelry” were grossly inaccurate and misleading. It was a neighborhood “invasion.” The likes of which Carnival, Mardi Gras, Macy’s, the Rose Bowl and the (Philadelphia) Mummers parades wouldn’t countenance. Only Gasparilla, because of unsuitable logistics, is forced to shoe horn hundreds of thousands of spectators — many of them besotted teens and other drunks — through actual neighborhoods.

Because the 1,200 police were woefully outnumbered by a crowd of 350,000 — more than the population of Tampa itself — a virtual free-pass for anarchic behavior inevitably results. Chief Hogue acknowledged that officers have to prioritize and “judiciously” pick their spots for arrests, which take more than an hour to process. That’s why only 141 miscreants were hauled in. They let a lot slide. Besides, you can’t haul them in by the thousands.                                    

            This scenario is compounded, underscored one resident — me — by obviously enabling parents. Where do these hung-over — or worse — kids go at the end of the day’s debauchery? Who’s accountable? Is everybody sleeping over at Tiffany’s or Madison’s?

The offending behavior was detailed by residents. Ranging from ad hoc urination, defecation, public sex and property break-ins to vomiting, fighting, landscape-trashing and underage drinking. Some of the public sex involved girls barely into their teens – and multiple partners. Generic boorish behavior — say, loud, hyphenated, obscene language — no longer made the short list of outrages.

And numerous homeowners, furious about their out-of-pocket expenses for property protection (fencing and off-duty officers), strongly objected to “a for-profit event that the neighborhoods underwrite.” It cost one condominium association $6,000 to safeguard its site.

“It’s out of hand,” stated Ferlita. “We’ve got to do better.”

But it wasn’t just the trespissing charge of the Bud Light Brigades that was referenced. This really wasn’t your basic pitchfork and flambeau crowd. These were homeowners and long-time residents who were as savvy as they were angry.

The rhetoric of “inverse eminent domain” and “attractive nuisances” was part of the presentation — with all of the less-than-subtle re-imbursement and lawsuit implications. And most disturbing of all, the confirmation of what a gun-owning homeowner could legally do when confronting drunks unlawfully entering his home. This Gasparilla, some had.

“We’re normalizing these crazy behaviors and saying it’s OK to violate the law at certain times of the year,” said Gina Firth, the UT associate dean of students. “I know this is supposed to be a good event, but it’s toxic. It needs to change or end.”

While suggestions included the banning of alcohol – and even beads – and the adding of many more port-o-lets, a consensus centered on both behavior and venue. Both need changing. Venue options included Kennedy Boulevard, Dale Mabry Highway and downtown-through-Channelside.

After the 90-minute session, Corrada emphasized that those from the city had “listened carefully” and that City Hall “was not your adversary on this. We will work to make this better. We will look at the route and the alcohol (ban). We will work with the promoter to make it better. This dialogue is the beginning.”

The next step, said Corrada, will be to sit down with Event Fest and Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla and review the neighborhood input.

The following step will be to report back to residents in 60 days.

                                                      Upshot

We all know what a gorgeous venue Bayshore Boulevard is – with its awesome vistas. To many, Tampa’s world class linear park is the perfect place for a really big parade. To move it would be, in the words of some folks, including one local journalist: “Blasphemy.”

I understand. And, frankly, I agree.

That’s why the Gasparilla Children’s Parade, which attracted nearly 250,000 spectators, 100 floats and 50 krewes this year and is prominent enough to warrant its own flyover and a pyrotechnic extravaganza, should stay on Bayshore. It’s the quintessential family event that looks like Tampa – black, white and brown. The wagons carry little children, not alcoholic provisions.                                                             

Sure, the logistics can get unwieldy, but the spillover into the neighborhoods is not that of drunks and punks, but families who have put in a long day. And the sometimes long port-o-let queues are still manageable. That’s because those in line are fueled by lemonade and bottled water and not the contents of a beer bong.

The Ye Mystic Krude version of Gasparilla, however, needs to relocate. The genie of street party dissipation and the entrenched rites of pissage that overwhelm the side streets, alleys, garages, yards and lawns of neighborhoods will not be rebottled. Regardless of whether alcohol concessions and coolers are banned. Not enough law enforcement. Not enough check points. It’s too many people uninterested in a parade and too few cops to adequately monitor and police them.

A huge parade that necessarily invades a neighborhood is an ongoing, open-ended invitation to mayhem. It certainly needs to be reined in – and assuredly re-routed. Downtown through Channelside — more conducive to crowd control and proximate enough to water to maintain the nautical link — makes the most sense.

But end the annual neighborhood assault before someone dies or is critically injured and the city is looking at an attractive nuisance lawsuit for countenancing and encouraging the street party from hell – under the guise of a civic-celebration parade.

The YMK hybrid is increasingly — and inherently — unsafe and inadequately policed. Move it. If not to Monday or a more innocent era, then to downtown. To do otherwise is negligent and, ironically, blasphemous if you really believe in public safety and private property.

Holder No Help On Race

            Eric Holder, America’s first African-American attorney general, hit the ground stumbling with that Black History Month “nation of cowards” talk of his. Too bad he didn’t take his cues from this nation’s first African-American president and focus more objectively on America’s racial disparities.

For openers, Holder should know better than to imply that self-segregation — whether in high school lunchrooms or community churches — is an extension of Jim Crow and part of the legacy of slavery. It’s syllogistic, grievance-card reasoning.

To quote black syndicated columnist and economics professor Walter Williams: “Holder’s flawed thinking is widespread whereby people think that an activity that is not racially integrated is therefore segregated.”

Closer to home is the St. Petersburg Times’ black columnist Bill Maxwell, who’s nobody’s Uncle Tom. He’s from the Bill Cosby school of telling it like it is (sometimes known as ‘airing dirty laundry’) – and not just playing the blame game.

Maxwell mentions the scandalous rates of black children born to unmarried mothers, the counterproductive rationalizations behind black-on-black crime and outrageous incarceration rates and the “deleterious effects” of an “outlaw” hip-hop culture that preaches “anti-intellectualism, anti-authoritarianism and nihilism.”

The racial reality that Holder doesn’t get is all too obvious. It still takes a black spokesperson to speak credibly about any black culpability – and even then they run the risk of being labeled a house Negro – to wax euphemistic.

Obviously, Holder wants to avoid any likelihood of such a label.

The reality is that what Williams and Maxwell said I couldn’t say – to all audiences with the same level of credibility and moral suasion. We’re not there yet.

            Cowardice shouldn’t be color coded.

Rearrange The Furniture For State Of The Union

            Like most of you, I watched President Obama’s recent address to the joint session of Congress. Right now it’s all history all the time. Regardless of ideology and ballot preference, most of us wanted to see how the newly-minted, transformative chief executive did – even though such speeches are traditionally heavy on themes and light on specifics.

            And we wondered collectively if the atmosphere of grim reality would induce candor to a fault – or would the speech be sufficiently leavened by optimism? Basically, would the finest presidential orator of our times be every bit as convincing as he needed to be?

            And like most of you, I also got caught up in the traditions, the orchestrations, the choreography and the political gamesmanship. Starting with who’s sitting with the First Lady who will earn those presidential shout-outs and who will have those primo spots in the handshake line when President Obama is introduced?

Then it was on to noting applause lines. And how many standing ovations? How many will sit out the other side’s standing ovations? How many, if any, genuine bi-partisan responses beyond pure protocol will there be? Who will be paying more attention to political Twittering than to attention paying? What color pantsuit will Hillary be wearing?

            But such asides, ultimately, don’t detract from the speechmaker. They are cut-aways to audience reactions to what the speaker has said.

            But here is what truly is distracting: Having the vice president and the speaker of the House sitting behind the president and very much in the TV frame. It’s a time-honored tradition whose time should no longer be honored. Even if you like Joe Biden, and a lot of folks do, and Nancy Pelosi, and a lot less do, their presence is a distraction – and a disservice to the speaker. Your eye is too often diverted. It just is.

            Republican partisans will mock Pelosi for her up-and-down theatrics and her blink-a-thons. Biden reins it in enough to look more like a statesman than a cheerleading flunky. But as a VP rule of thumb, it’s better to err on the side of not looking bored by the man who chose you.

            We’ve had a House-cleaning. Now it’s time to re-arrange the furniture.

I can remember Speaker John McCormack behind John F. Kennedy looking like he should have been at a Moose Lodge. I remember Carl Albert behind Richard Nixon and wondering if he hadn’t been in the “Wizard of Oz.” The mind wanders.

Between applause lines, Denny Hastert seemed likely fixated on the post-speech buffet, and Dick Cheney always appeared on edge until he was satisfied that there had been no last-minute changes added to Bush’s copy.

The state-of-the-union speech is one of our better traditions. Its context is historical. But its backdrop is histrionic.

Embargo Advice for Obama

            It’s not yet a drumbeat issue, but the subject of the Cuban embargo is increasingly in the geopolitical conversation these days. The Obama administration is obviously making changes — as in pushing to undo travel and remittance restrictions imposed under President George W. Bush. Beyond that, the administration’s strategy still looks incremental – especially when it comes to the 47-year-old trade embargo.

            At a recent seminar organized by the University of Miami’s Institute for Cuban and Cuban-American Studies, retired diplomat Vicki Huddleston underscored some of the embargo’s finer points and their pertinence to a new administration. Some of you may recall that Huddleston is a former chief of the U.S. Interests Section in Havana (1999-02) and achieved a measure of fame — or notoriety — for handing out those shortwave radios to average Cubans. She is now a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution in Washington.  

Huddleston said Obama has numerous options for improving bilateral U.S.-Cuba ties – notwithstanding the 1996 Helms-Burton Act that codified the embargo.

            “President Obama has the authority, whether you like it or not, to do just about anything he wants on Cuba,” she stated. “He could negotiate and even give back Guantanamo. He could change the ‘wet foot-dry foot’ policy or negotiate expropriated property claims, but we don’t expect him to do that.”

            And while Huddleston underscored that President Obama would need Congressional approval to end the embargo altogether, he could still move to dismantle it in piecemeal fashion.

            “What Helms-Burton did in 1996 was codify the regulations of the embargo as they stood then,” she explained. “But it also gave executive authority for the president to modify or change the embargo. So the power to change the embargo was codified along with the regulations.”

             For the record, President Obama still says he’s in favor of maintaining the embargo for its value as “leverage” – to encourage democratic reform in Cuba.