Satirizing Trump Trip

Not surprisingly, the usual, flummoxed insiders leaked embarrassing details of Donald Trump’s initial foray into foreign travel and international statesmanship. Specifically, how he handled the art of world-leader small talk. Here are some LeakGate tidbits:

* Saudi Arabia’s King Salman.

“What a great arms partner you are. Just great. The military industrial complex loves you back home. And I just found out we have something else in common besides money. We hate the same country: Iran. Who knew? Melania told me on the way over.

“But I gotta tell ya. Everything about your country is great. That includes great ingenuity. Who else could get this out of a fan belt and table cloth? Just a joke. I figured it was casual Friday. Still joking, Sal.

“You know, I look at your women. They look great behind veils. But, you’re right, not so great behind the wheel.

“By the way, are you guys Sunnis or Shiites? It makes a difference, right?  But, off the record, Islam does hate us, right?”

* Egyptian President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi.

“Love your shoes, Abdel. Do they come in wing tips? Nice to hang out with a Muslim who wouldn’t be offended by ‘radical Islamic extremism’ rhetoric if I were to use it. Hell, you’ve lived with those losers. But you’re a tough guy. I love tough guys. But a tough guy with a name like ‘Sissi’? Just kidding.”

* Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

“It’s nice to be with an old friend again. We’re not being taped are we? Where was I? Oh, yeah, classified information is so overrated.”

* Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas.

“Brought you a little something, Mahmoud. Maybe you’ve already read “The Art of the Deal,” I mean who hasn’t, but this one’s autographed. Could help out when you’re dealing with Netanhayu. He can be a real nut job.

“Also wanted to run some things by you about building a wall. Of course I’m kidding.”

* Pope Francis.

“Welcome, Mr. President.”

“Thank you, Your Holiness. May I call you ‘Frank?’

“By the way, you’re getting a great Vatican ambassador in Callista Gingrich. She’ll be, uh, great. Just goes to show, you know, there’s life after an affair and annulment, right? Of course, I’m kidding.”

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