Ybor As The Big Easel?

Now that the promise of an affordable artists’ community is off the drawing boards with the planned East Village of the Arts in Ybor City, a key question is begged.

No, not the one about why artists should be singled out and subsidized to do what they do, which sometimes includes creating stuff that even mystifies those who aren’t practicing Philistines. Anyway, the artists are not supposed to be of the “starving” sort; they’re expected to have rent-paying “day jobs.”

Nor is it about the criteria for choosing the arts’ worthiness of prospective tenants, which sounds almost Solomonic.

After all, artists having formal patrons predates the Medicis. This is the 21st century, quasi economic-development model.

No, the key query concerns the nature of the new art ‘hood — north of I-4, between 12th Street and 19th Street. This is one tough, crime-familiar section. Arguably, punks will outnumber poets. No drive-by sonnets in this rundown part of town.

As a result, leasing apartments at fixed low rates to water colorists, sculptors and mimes could be more noble than practical — or safe. Nothing against the aesthetic and ephemeral crowd, but this could get dicey. Security should be a serious concern for the earliest pioneers, even if they’re a colony of police sketch artists.

To that end, why not add a complementary organization? Preferably one with some muscle. As long as the city is designating a favored group for help, it might want to expand that subsidy scenario. Why not, say, an Olympic Development weightlifters community as well? At least until gentrification kicks in.

Baseball’s Tattoo Taboo

Let’s go over this one more time. Steroids threaten the game’s players and integrity; serial spitters further pollute the image; un-capped salaries create competitive apartheid; and the designated hitter remains an iconoclastic misstep.

But Major League Baseball has drawn a line in the diamond. Visible tattoos are taboo on pitchers. As a result, Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Justin Miller — and anyone else with an illustrated arm — will have to wear long sleeves to avoid any distraction to batters.

Call it a minor establishment victory against seepage from the popular culture. But why stop there? Apparently gold chains are still an acceptable accessory. And how about hitters and their earrings? Or perhaps MLB doesn’t want to rock the bijou boat and remains content that the Rolexes and pinky rings are still staying in the locker room. For now.

Time For Kerry To Talk Tough On Terrorism

The train-bomb carnage in Madrid has ratcheted the terrorism stakes even higher — yet again. Apparently the horrific deed that killed 200 and maimed a thousand was enough to galvanize the Spanish electorate into voting out the center right Popular Party of Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar, a staunch American ally against terrorism. Socialist Prime Minister-elect Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatera had promised to withdraw Spanish troops from Iraq in the absence of a United Nations’ mandate.

There’s little doubt that Zapatera will do precisely that, but the loss of 1,300 Spanish troops is hardly the issue. It’s all about blackmail.

How ironic that in a hierarchy of blame for mass murder, the Madrid murderers were found less culpable than the Ibero-American alliance against them. The Spanish election results which, in effect, rewarded a grisly, terrorist strategy, had to have resounded with other U.S. allies, such as Great Britain, Italy, Poland, The Netherlands and Australia. In knee-jerk fashion, European Commission President Romano Prodi has inexplicably declared that “It is clear that using force is not the answer to resolving the conflict with terrorists.”

Neville Chamberlain would have been proud.

Presumably, the divide-and-be-conquered message was meant for the U.S. as well. The best response, however, can be delivered by Sen. John F. Kerry — not President George W. Bush.

The president, for all his international — and domestic — detractors, is a known quantity. He’s on the hunt for the duration.

But Kerry is the international wild card. How much campaign rhetoric would actually translate into meaningful policy differences? For example, the U.N. arguably would be consulted more frequently by a Kerry Administration, but would it really matter what Syria, Cameroon or any other member of the Security Council thought when it came to the U.S. defending itself in a perilous, terror-infested world? We’re the ones with the big target as well as the big arsenal.

Kerry needs to set the record straight. To wit:

“Evil incarnate Islamic extremists don’t have any proxy votes in America’s presidential election. Not one. And while President Bush and I have serious differences over the occupation of Iraq and America’s global standing, there is agreement on a fundamental principle. The United States was attacked on Sept. 11, 2001, and we remain at war with the perpetrators — al-Qaeda in its myriad nationalities and nefarious tentacles. The next president of the United States will remain committed to its liquidation by pro-actively working with our allies around the world.

“As Madrid has shown, the malevolent will sometimes ‘win’ a cowardly battle against the unarmed and innocent, but they cannot win a war; certainly not this one. We will not permit it. Neither President Bush nor President Kerry. We both know the legacy of Munich.

“Moreover, I’m announcing that former NATO Commander-in-Chief Wesley Clark as my vice presidential running mate. He also has his differences with the president — but they do NOT include rooting out terrorism and defending this country against its declared enemies. Of course, putting a former general on the ticket is a symbol — a damn serious one.”

Bucs Will Be Bucs

Can it be just 14 months ago that we were reveling in the Jon Gruden mystique and retracting our harshest Glazer critiques?

Sure, a disappointing season ensued, but stuff like that happens in the National Football League. That’s why NFL also stands for “Not For Long.” Injuries and parity scenarios are co-conspirators.

But the John Lynch debacle exhumed all the old Glazer rancor. We weren’t so much reminded that professional football is a calculated, unsentimental business, but that the Glazer operation is truly classless. They and their main minion, General Manager Bruce Allen, are to public relations what Elmer Fudd is to elocution.

And it hardly helps that the Bucs’ Gruden-inspired, free-agent plunge is looking increasingly like a rent-a-player philosophy that ignores the future — as well as rap sheets.

Then there’s the timing of the announcement of the Bucs’ new training facility and headquarters on the site of the old Tampa Bay Center mall just east of the RayJay. It will be state-of-the-art, encompass 145,000 square feet and cost $30 million.

Make that $18 million to the Bucs. The Community Investment Tax will pick up the rest.

Moreover, the invitee list to the well-hyped unveiling of the design omitted any government officials. Not even the Tampa Sports Authority, whose responsibility — and burden –it is to oversee taxpayer money for the Taj Glazer.

Tampa’s Liquid Asset

It’s long been axiomatic that Tampa’s waterfront was the city’s most underutilized asset. It was a good place to build a parking garage or a beer-can shaped office tower.

That attitude, mercifully, no longer prevails. The new art museum will incorporate a waterfront park and several eyesore, ad-hoc parking lots will morph into vista-enhancing green spaces.

But making a better-looking postcard is not the end. “We need to do a better job of connecting this river to the lives of people in Tampa,” recently stated Mayor Pam Iorio.

To that end, the city is partnering with the West Riverfront Neighborhood Association and the nonprofit Stewards Foundation of Tampa to develop the riverfront Tampa Water Sports Center. The city will provide the land just north of Tampa Prep for the 25,000-square-foot center, which will include a two-story boathouse. And thanks to Stewards, which will raise $2 million for the project, it will help accommodate crew teams — from northern universities as well as nearby high schools and the University of Tampa — plus provide for community-based kayaking, canoeing and water-safety programs.

And thanks to this progressive partnership, Tampa will further cement its reputation as an attractive winter get-away/rowing venue for Northern crews that is worth millions in economic impact. It will also give a lot more local kids an opportunity to participate in rowing — one of the country’s fastest-growing sports — by converting the Hillsborough River into a wide-awake zone of community participation.

Those wishing to contribute by purchasing naming rights, can contact Stewards’ Vice President of Development, Fundraising and Contributions Denny Antrim at 205-4013. Already Bright House Networks is paying five figures to put its name on an observation deck. What’s available ranges from canoes ($1,000) and 8-person shells (approximately $35,000) to the entire sports center ($750,000).

No Particular Reason

A recent study has shown that motorcycle fatalities in Florida have risen since the repeal of the helmet law. Another study showed that the risk of a car crash is a lot higher for elderly drivers. And a third study showed that there’s no end in sight of studies that prove the obvious.

*It’s illegal for virtually all Americans to travel to Cuba. But not Libya. Postcards from the shores of Tripoli — but not the Malecon. Why not make it official and require U.S. citizens to show their passports before entering Miami?

*St. Petersburg continues to distance itself from its old “Wrinkle City” and “God’s Waiting Room” image. A happening downtown and a vibrant arts scene are a big help. Now the city is the hometown of a world champion boxer, newly-crowned, junior middleweight Winky Wright. Definitely not your parents’ St. Pete.

*A lot of us look forward to “March Madness,” the NCAA’s 64-team national championship basketball tournament. This amateur bracketologist among them. Nothing like the David-and-Goliath scenarios created by the Valparaisos, Eastern Washingtons, Libertys, Monmouths, Princetons, and Vermonts taking on the Dukes and Kentuckys. But at the risk of hoops heresy, I have to admit that 64 teams is too many. But that’s not to disparage the Davids. They all won something to get into the “Big Dance.”

It’s a knock on the Goliath wannabes. If a team has proven over the course of a season that it is the fifth, sixth, seventh and even eighth best team in its conference, it has no business playing on for a possible national championship.

*From the looks of the “undervote” (unmarked ballots) in Broward County’s Democratic primary, “Flori-Duh” jokes could, alas, be recycled. What shouldn’t be countenanced, however, are complaints from the “disenfranchisement” crowd. Still not knowing how to vote — which in and of itself calls into question the quality of a ballot, per se — is not the same as being “disenfranchised.” But it is the same as being stupid.

Lies, Damn Lies And Movie Ads

Had he been a contemporary, Benjamin Disraeli would surely agree that there are “Lies, damn lies and movie ads.” Hopefully, most of us are aware of the scam by now. There are publicist ploys, sham critics and out-of-context reviews.

We’ve all seen, regrettably, an awful movie that was huckstered as, say, an “awesome spectacle,” “truly terrifying suspense,” a “riveting drama,” a “poignant romance,” an “action-packed thriller,” a “tour de force” performance, an “adrenaline rush” or a “laugh-out-loud spoof.” We can only wonder what context such laudatory language may have been siphoned from.

Perhaps:

Kerry Comes Courtin’

The good news for the John Kerry campaign was how well last week’s rally at Centro Ybor came off. Long, orderly lines snaked down 7th Avenue, around 17th Street and back down 8th Avenue to the security check-in. The Centro Ybor plaza was packed, demographically young and properly animated. So what if many of the faithful didn’t catch the symbolism of “I’m a Believer” by the Monkees blaring in the background. It all looked good on TV, especially that inclusive palette of diverse faces that served as the requisite backdrop prop.

Amid the sea of signage — “Real Deal,” “Bring It On,” “Beat Bush,” “Florida Loves Teresa” and “Weapon of Mass Disinformation” — was a notable number of placards in Spanish, including “Adelante con Kerry” and “Viva El Partido Democrata Siempre.”

After the audience warm-ups by Rep. Jim Davis, Rep. Kendrick Meek and Sen. Bill Nelson, Kerry made it clear that this was no cameo. He spoke, often interactively, for about 45 minutes. He then lingered another 25 minutes working a barricade line all the way into Fresh Mouth for a strawberry milkshake.

In between, he took no rhetorical prisoners. He’s obviously running as the anti-Dukakis. Coming through a primary process where the only significant bashing was of the president, Kerry has by now plenty of well-honed, partisan-pleasing, red-meat lines — including the familiar refrains of “Bring it on” and “Mission accomplished” parody.

His boilerplate stump speech routinely references:

*”Playing dress-up on an aircraft carrier.”

*”A ‘bait-and-switch’ war.”

*”Only go to war because we HAVE to, not because we WANT to.”

*”The one person in America who deserves to be laid off is George W. Bush.”

*”Protect Social Security, not privatize it.”

*”Benedict Arnold CEO’s.”

*”Tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans.”

*”An attorney general who is NOT John Ashcroft.”

And more.

The bad news is that this is only March. The presidential thrust-parry-and-deride show will be playing as a continuous loop for another eight months.

“Kerrying” Favor: What “Willy” do?

Kerry, in response to a media question, didn’t exactly roll out the “Real Deal” rhetoric about Cuba. In fact, he sounded like a candidate who didn’t want to write off the exile vote.

He is, of course, very much in favor of democratic institutions on the island. And he thinks it’s a swell idea to examine America’s relationship with Cuba.

As to the embargo, he would NOT recommend ending it “willy nilly.”

The Chavez-Castro Romance

It had nothing to do with the John Kerry rally at Centro Ybor, but one of the better lines of the night was delivered by a guy holding one of those Spanish signs. He was from Caracas, Venezuela, where uncertainties and fears abound about leftist President Hugo Chavez, who’s quite chummy with Fidel Castro.

“In Venezuela, Chavez is known as the ‘First Lady of Cuba,'” he said.