Rationale Hunting

It was one of those vintage St. Petersburg Times features. Designed to elicit a torrent of letters and get people engaged, even riled. It obviously worked. It’s about a Brooksville archer-hunter who kills enough game, including deer and boar, to feed his family and share with clients and friends. Mounted trophy heads bedeck the walls of his home office.

It’s all about “lifestyle,” he says. Indeed, the 28-year-old personal trainer is part of a small but growing number of people trying to literally live off the land. Modern hunter-gatherers, if you will.

We all know the arguments against processed foods – and where hamburgers come from. And eating what you kill — plus thinning the herd — can be mitigating arguments on behalf of the “sport” of hunting. But I don’t pretend to be objective. Never have. Herbert “Survival of the Fittest” Spenser would likely think me hopelessly naïve. Hunters would add hypocritical and stupidly urban.

But to me, the only argument that really matters is this: Do you, as a hunter enjoy it? Is it fun to don camouflage; climb a tree; wait in ambush; string a bow; and kill something that wasn’t hunting you? And the kill isn’t always clean.

Bon appetit.

“Queer Theory” Course

This is over the top, even for the moronically moralizing David Caton: an e-mail campaign against USF’s “queer theory” course. Come on, this is an elective course that’s been around for two decades and, among other things, delves into practical questions of gender identity in a “society that enforces categories.”

It’s not for everyone, but so what? It’s hardly irrelevant.

It’s what you would expect in a diverse community. It’s what you would expect in any university outside of Bob Jones and Liberty. Especially when courses on rock lyrics are practically higher-ed staples these days. And, by the way, the University of Virginia still offers its “Deer Hunting for Locavores” course.

Signs Of The Times

According to Ikea, its well-received 29-acre complex near Ybor City remains “undersigned.” Reportedly, some shoppers motoring along on I-4 just might be driving right past Ikea because it’s “visibility challenged.” Who knew? What with that two-story sign on Adamo Drive and all those 10-footers on the building facing the Crosstown and Adamo?

But imagine how challenging it would be if Ikea weren’t renown as a commercial destination? If its customer base weren’t motivated fans and true believers? How would

they ever find it?         

Sports Shorts

*Rumors continue to circulate about the NFL putting a franchise into Los Angeles. They typically involve relocation scenarios. The top two candidates: the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Buffalo Bills.

*Does anyone remember when a Gatorade shower wasn’t a dumb, clichéd way to congratulate a head football coach?

*There’s a lot to admire about NASCAR, even if you don’t like auto racing. It’s well marketed, and the drivers are uniformly nice guys who truly appreciate their fans and don’t wind up on police blotters. But NASCAR superstar Jimmie Johnson as Associated Press Athlete of the Year? Any driver as ATHLETE of the year?

*FSU recently spent an estimated $200,000 fighting NCAA sanctions related to that athletic cheating scandal. Its foremost priority, of course, was trying to save 14 of Bobby Bowden’s 389 wins. No surprise – it was to no avail. But it cost more than $14,000 per lost Bowden victory. Throwing good money after bad academic practices only compounded this embarrassing chapter in Seminole sports.

Quoteworthy

  • “This is not something we’re doing to teachers. It’s something we’re doing with teachers, as full partners.” Hillsborough County Schools Superintendent MaryEllen Elia, regarding the reforms expected as a result of the $100 million grant from the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.
  • “We’re in a position to make a lot of arrests if we have to.” –Assistant Tampa Police Chief Marc Hamlin on preparations for this year’s Gasparilla Parade.
  • “I keep hearing about this time off, and people I’m closest to are going to demand I take some time off, but I’ve tried that already. I tried a day and a half and it didn’t work.” – UF’s Urban Meyer on how his “leave of absence” is going.
  • “Students who have chosen education as their major have the lowest SAT scores of any other major. Prospects for improvement in black education are not likely given the cozy relationship between black politicians, civil rights organizations and teacher unions.” – Syndicated columnist Walter E. Williams, George Mason University.
  • “When unemployment is 10 percent, incumbency is the one job nobody wants.” –Bruce Reed, CEO, Democratic Leadership Council.
  • “If you lose Massachusetts and it’s not a wake-up call, there’s no hope of waking up.” – Sen. Evan Bayh, D-Indiana.
  • “No laws or walls we put up will ever be sufficient to protect us unless the Arab and Muslim societies from whence these suicide bombers emerge erect political, religious and moral restraints as well – starting by shaming suicide bombers and naming their actions ‘murder,’ not ‘martyrdom.’” – Thomas Friedman, New York Times.
  • “The tea party movement is mostly famous for its flamboyant fringe. But it is now more popular than either major party.” – David Brooks, New York Times.
  • “Longevity for a columnist is a simple proposition: Once you start, you don’t stop. You do it until you die or can no longer put a sentence together. It has always been my intention to die at my desk, although my most cherished ambition is to outlive the estate tax.” – Charles Krauthammer, Washington Post.

Are They The Rays Or The Parochials?

Lots of St. Petersburg officials didn’t like it, but the business-savvy group charged (by former Mayor Rick Baker) with looking into the Tampa Bay Rays’ stadium situation has unanimously reported that downtown St. Petersburg just won’t do. Even with an obscenely expensive, retrofitted Tropicana Field, said the 11-member, Pinellas-heavy ABC Coalition.

What else St. Pete movers and shakers won’t like is that most Tampa Bay residents not viewing this scenario through a narrow, self-serving, St. Pete lens would agree with ABC. Mid-Pinellas or Tampa’s West Shore and downtown are far superior, assessed ABC. Mercifully, it didn’t unequivocally say: “Tampa.” But it might as well have.

It’s no surprise that the Rays have to be a regional franchise to survive and succeed.

And it’s no revelation that the Rays inherited a myriad of all-too-familiar challenges – ranging from the demographic and logistical to the commercial, historical and recreational. Tampa Bay is an asymmetrical market with spread out populations, no mass transit, few corporate headquarters and lots of relocatees with other allegiances. Plus, there are plenty of summer lifestyle options superior to watching baseball. This isn’t a Pittsburgh or a Cincinnati, where, after a century of big league ball, the sport is embedded into the societal fabric — and contemporary “small market” status is irrelevant.  

And all of this, as we well know, has been compounded by a poorly placed playing facility — on the market’s fringe, near the Gulf of Mexico. The closest market to the west is Corpus Christi.

The Rays are trying to finesse this right now. It’s hardly the time for public-sector demands or veiled threats of relocation. These are sensitive, recessionary times and the Rays have contractual obligations to play their games at the Trop through the 2026 season. Almost nobody, however, believes that will happen. Crunch time inexorably approaches. And there’s precedent for contract-breaking as the cost of doing better business somewhere else. A San Antonio or a Portland, for example.

It’s a given that the Rays will be out of their catwalk house before their lease is up. And whether St. Pete leaders want to recognize reality or not, it’s also a given that the Rays will be out of downtown St. Petersburg as well. The question is will they be out of this regional market? Tampa has to be in the discussion — and the mix — St. Pete ego notwithstanding.

Rays’ development official Michael Kalt has diplomatically noted that “We need a regional dialogue about what’s best for keeping baseball here.” Well nuanced. We know what “here” doesn’t mean: downtown St. Petersburg.

We also know that anything less than taking one for “Team Tampa Bay” could result in Major League Baseball being replaced by bush league parochialism. Then everybody loses.

But it could be worse. Kathleen “Honor the Lease” Ford could have been elected mayor. 

Armory Advice

Two years ago Tampa City Council voted to rezone Fort Homer Hesterly Armory. The move was made to facilitate the West Tampa icon’s transformation into the ambitious, 10-acre Heritage Square. The Armory’s next incarnation would include a luxury hotel, spa, marketplace park and cultural arts center. The lead developer was Tampa-based Intelident Solutions.

Along the way, there were issues, an impasse – and today those grand plans are on recessionary hold. The National Guard still awaits a buyer. It’s likely the development process will begin anew.

When it does, here’s hoping plans for a “West Tampa renaissance” are scaled back in the interest of ongoing reality, not just the economy of the moment. A 300-room luxury hotel and a spa, for instance, were never practicable for that working class neighborhood. Such ill-considered proposals should now be on permanent hold.

Perhaps the Armory Partners Group will resurface. APG had astutely proposed a mixed-use project that featured a film studio and soundstage. That would have met a critical city need, while acting as a magnet for arts-related enterprises and a catalyst for jobs. 

That is still the case. And the National Guard, which continues to maintain the Armory, is still looking for a buyer.

Good News Counts

Sometimes — amid the subplots of recession, terrorism and politics as usual — we forget that good news also happens. And not just the stuff that grabs headlines because somebody scored some stimulus money.

We have recently learned from the state’s marine science laboratory that the manatee count exceeded expectations. An aerial survey by biologists counted more than 5,000. Last year it was 3,800 – and that was a record. Federal officials are now considering downgrading manatees from “endangered,” which they were first labeled in 1967, to “threatened.”

The high count this year is considered the result of long-term conservation efforts, including the enforcement of boat-speed zones.

And then there’s “Operation Migration,” where young whooping cranes are taught the migration route from the wilds of Wisconsin to Chassahowitzka National Wildlife Refuge on the Citrus-Hernando County border. The cranes fly behind an ultralight. This year it took 89 days to cover the 1,285 miles.

Anyone who has ever seen video of the young cranes in flight — let alone footage of their arrival — has not done so with dry eyes. It is that moving. And it is that welcome. Now more than ever.

“RubioSpeak”: New Low In Political Rhetoric

There’s partisan pandering and there’s the self-serving screed. Then there is RubioSpeak.

No, we’re not talking about carefully parsed, revisionist references to government stimulus that makes Charlie Crist look like a straight-shooter. No, we’re talking about Marco Rubio’s recent rhetoric that was a new low – even for calculated, conservative, Cuban-American politicians.

“My parents lost their country to a government,” said Rubio, the Tea Party poster lad who’s running for the U.S. Senate seat that Gov. Crist thought was reserved for him. “I will not lose mine to a government.”

How outrageous that he would analogize the Communist Castro dictatorship to contemporary American governance. Why not just stick with basic GOP talking points and “socialism” slams? As if the incumbent administration believed in government ownership of the means of production. Frankly, Rubio’s political cheap shot is not unlike comparing George W. Bush to Fulgencio Batista. It’s rhetorically repugnant and ideologically obscene.

But if Rubio truly wants a relevant — and ironic — analogy to what his parents faced, then he need look no farther than his own, South Florida back yard. That’s where, for two generations, those who dared to exercise their freedom of speech to speak against the Cuban embargo and in favor of unfettered travel to Cuba have been routinely intimidated and smeared – and worse. Where the prevailing ideology was a hybrid of vendetta and right-wing extremism. Arguably, that would have been the place to start before moving on to fix Washington.

Insurance Mandate

Late last year the health-care debate was spiced up even more with a dicey legal question. Can the federal government require Americans to buy health insurance? Our own attorney general, Bill McCollum, is among the inquiring minds who want to know. Legal opinions are all over the board. Some say it’s a function of Congress’ authorized powers to regulate interstate commerce. Others say it’s a private decision; hardly a matter of “commerce.” The constitutional plot will continue to thicken.

But here’s a suggestion. Forget that there’s even a mandatory social security tax, for example. Just leave it at this: If you don’t want to be made to buy health insurance or pay a resultant fine, then simply sign a waiver. It would, in effect, say:

“I choose not to have health insurance. I’m young. I’m healthy. I’m invulnerable. I’m fine with other priorities. But if, by some unimaginably implausible happenstance, I should find myself in dire need of medical assistance and immediate transport to an emergency room, it’s OK to leave me unattended. It wouldn’t be fair to charge the taxpayer, given that I’ve opted out of helping others. That’s my individual right, and I’ll die for it, if necessary.”