Month: June 2006

Local Gubernatorial Ties

All things being equal – which they rarely are – would the Tampa Bay Area be better off with a governor from here? Political consultant and USF history professor John Belohlavek cautions about jumping on that parochial bandwagon. For all of our regional rhetoric, notes Belohlavek, this still remains an area rife with “divided loyalties.”

“Frankly, for the folks in Tampa, I’m not sure that Charlie Crist would help a lot,” says Belohlavek. “And I don’t know what a Gov. Jim Davis would do for St. Pete. What I do think is more meaningful are those areas the region shares, such as resources – power and water. That might make a difference.”

Makes sense. You also have to believe that Mayor Pam Iorio would like her Riverwalk chances if the veto pen were in the hands of a Gov. Davis.

It’s all enough to hearken back to 1986 and the gubernatorial campaign of Tampa’s Bob Martinez. The candidate’s campaign manager, the blunt, hard-charging Mac Stipanovich, was asked (by me): “What’s it worth to Tampa to have one of its own in the Governor’s Mansion?”

“Let’s just say that when you call,” responded Stipanovich with an accompanying wink, “it helps if the governor knows the caller.” For those who know Stipanovich, you know that was about as subtle as he gets.

World Cup: Nationalism For A Good Cause

I’ll admit up front that I’m no expert when it comes to the game of soccer. But in a frenzy of raw chauvinism, I hop on the World Cup bandwagon every four years and root for the ultimate home team. At least in America, it’s still a refreshingly safe, hooligan-free outlet for jingoism. Kick some grass for a good cause; then soccer succor until the next quadrennial gathering.

The World Cup is the most-watched event in the world. It is geographically disparate and culturally unique. Where else would you ever see such exotic pairings as Ukraine vs. Saudi Arabia, Ivory Coast vs. Serbia-Montenegro or Togo vs. anybody? There are also quaint post-colonial match-ups such as Portugal and Angola.

Having said all that, however, I was really steamed watching that USA-Italy game. Granted, the combination of bad refereeing and poor grounding in the rules (on my part) is an unholy alliance, but our guys, quite arguably, got hosed. Had to play half the game with only nine players, and no team in the history of the World Cup has ever even scored a single goal with only nine players. But it wasn’t just me that was choleric over the calls. The American commentators agreed with the American coach that it was awful officiating too.

And then some careless mistakes, an energy deficit and a controversial penalty kick in the disappointing loss to Ghana. Too little, too late, too slow, too bad.

Party on, Accra. Enjoy your national holiday.

The foul mood only led, to use a football term, to piling on.

I mean, do all those variations on a melodramatic dive really require stretcher bearers? If nothing else, it should be a liability issue to promptly send a player back into a game that he has just been removed from via stretcher.

And how about an accurate, contemporaneous clock? Why does this sport, unique among all, settle for an approximation of how much time is left? What’s with the arbitrary adding on of a couple of (“stoppage”) minutes at the end? Why can’t the clock just, well, stop when somebody fakes an injury; the soccer ball caroms up and over the Fly Emirates or Adidas flasher boards; a substitution is made; or the referee runs out of red cards?

Why do I put myself through it?

Probably because it’s just a game in a world at increasing geo-political odds and civilizational peril. Likely because it’s an opportunity to wax nationalistic over something that doesn’t involve foreign policy, pre-emptive strategies or enemies – just opponents.

“The Lost City”

When you only have one screen, as is the case with Tampa Theatre, you can’t afford many – maybe any – misses. Most movies go a week, maybe two. Rarely more. Among the exceptions: “Capote,” “March of the Penguins” and “Brokeback Mountain.” Now add “The Lost City,” the film based on the work of the late novelist Guillermo Cabrera Infante that nostalgically chronicles the end of an era in Havana.

It recently completed a three-week-plus run.

As a market with strong Cuban roots, it was thought that “The Lost City” could draw well here, explained Tara Schroeder, Tampa Theatre’s community relations manager. Local Hispanic media and the Cuban Club helped get the word out. And actor-director-co-producer Andy Garcia agreed to do print and radio interviews with local Tampa media.

The first weekend’s gross was $14,300, which is roughly four times a good weekend. That kind of box office prompted Tampa Theatre to extend the run.

“We started getting calls and e-mails early on,” says Schroeder. “A lot of people had personal ties. Some came to see it more than once.”

And some lingered long after one Friday showing for an animated “cinema chat” that was equal parts pre-Castro reverie and post-revolution revulsion.

“I was getting teary hearing people’s stories,” recalled Schroeder.

She was not alone.

Head’s Up On Helmets

Generally speaking, athletes do not make the best — and frequently not even good — role models. Would that veterinarians and cancer researchers topped all lists.

Playing a game is not particularly important; it doesn’t win any victories for humanity; but it does catapult players to society’s center stage. Especially this one’s. And impressionable kids in America’s celebrity-lionizing culture will always be impressionable kids.

Cue Ben Roethlisberger.

By virtue of being the quarterback of the Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers, he is a major marquee name and a de facto role model. By virtue of being a helmet-less motorcycle rider, he is a major doofus. He also had been – prior to his recent accident — an undeniable traffic distraction on the streets of Pittsburgh, where no one is more easily recognized these days.

Fortunately, Roethlisberger survived his run-in with a car.

He will play another day and continue to be a high-profile role model to a bunch of kids who can only vicariously relate to a world class professional athlete. But by donning a helmet the next time he mounts a motorcycle – or by dismounting permanently – he will have gone where few famous athletes this side of Pat Tillman will ever go.

To a place where hero-worshipers can actually identify with their heroes. It’s time for Big Ben to take one for the real home team.

And who knows, such a prudent act could even help reverse the mindless trend of states repealing helmet laws. The number of “unhelmeted” deaths in Florida, for example, has risen from 22 in 1999 – before the helmet-law repeal — to 250 in 2004.

Vaccine Against Stupidity?

The World Health Organization, which began a global immunization drive against polio in 1988, failed to meet its target of global eradication by the end of last year. One reason: Nigeria, where the disease is making an insidious comeback.

Seems that the mostly Muslim north has been ordering an immunization boycott since 2003. Authorities claim the vaccine is part of a U.S.-led plot to render Muslims infertile or infect them with AIDS.

Perhaps Bono, between playing concerts and playing off the West’s colonial guilt, could add another African cause (in addition to holding the corrupt accountable): Educate the stupid.

Some Ground Rules For Grads – And Others

You reach a certain point in life – after having seen and done some things – such that you feel qualified to not just pass on advice – but to codify it into rules. Here are some – thanks to the internet – and courtesy of Microsoft billionaire and philanthropist Bill Gates and comedian millionaire and societal scold George Carlin.

Gates’ “Rules for Life” are aimed at high school students. Basically, it’s what they did not — and will not — learn in any classroom. To wit:

*Life is not fair. Get used to it.

*The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

*If you think your teacher is tough, wait ’til you get a boss.

*Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity.

*Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

*Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employees are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

*Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

Carlin’s acerbic, updated “New Rules for 2006” include, with some sanitization, these observations:

*Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

*Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull.

*If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you’re a dope. If you’re a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you’re a grown man, they’re pictures of men.

*Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What’s next? Competitive gas-passing? Oh wait. They’re already doing that. It’s called “The Howard Stern Show.”

*When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to know in months. “27 months.” “He’s two” will do just fine. He’s not a cheese.

And here’s one more, this one attributed to the late holistic health guru, Dr. Bernard Jensen : “Life is short. Make it wide.”

Defining Marriage Moment

Much continues to be made of the Senate’s recent failure to pass a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Of course, it was a political diversion from more important stuff. And the rhetoric was predictably partisan; most of it grounded in raw, pandering expedience.

Having said that, it’s worth noting that:

*The Full Faith and Credit Clause of the U.S. Constitution makes some ponder the possibility that what happens in Massachusetts won’t always stay in Massachusetts.

*The law of the land (prohibition, separate but equal, restricted voting rights) as we know, can be as protean as a Supreme Court composition and societal mutation. What happens if Congress’ Defense of Marriage Act is overturned?

*Massachusetts Republican Governor Mitt Romney’s quote on the subject still makes the most sense. “Marriage is not an ‘evolving paradigm,'” stated Romney. “It is deeply rooted in the history, culture and tradition of civil society. It predates our constitution and our nation by millennia. The institution of marriage was not created by government, and it should not be redefined by government.”

“City Within A City”

It was only fitting that Mayor Pam Iorio was the keynote speaker at last week’s 20th anniversary Tampa Downtown Partnership meeting and luncheon. With a city-core visual aid and a pointer, she was preaching to the choir on her favorite boilerplate subject: the changing face — and focus — of downtown Tampa. Some asides:

*”Over the next 5 to 6 years” a virtual “city within a city” will come on line in the downtown core and Channelside. Upwards of 8,000 living units and 17,000 residents are anticipated.

*Would, however, that there were more apartments in the mix.

*The sort of growth now occurring – and now planned – is about 20 years ahead of what had been foreseen by most observers. Certainly not the $2.6 billion in investment interest.

*The Riverwalk will link Tampa Heights to Channelside, but the “key to our civic space” is Curtis Hixon Park.

*Ultimately, the city expects to have about “300 major events along the Riverwalk each year.”

*Iorio gave former Mayor Dick Greco his props for projects started under his administration, including the purchase of land parcels adjacent to the Riverwalk.

Mayor’s Bittersweet Laugh Line

Notably, not even the Pamglossian mayor could wax effusive about the blight stuff that is Central Park Village redevelopment. “I’ll skip over that for now,” quipped Iorio. It was intended to be – and succeeded as – a bittersweet laugh line.

The squalid, northeast gateway to downtown has been hostage to a dysfunctional city-county dynamic, as well as Hillsborough County Commission grandstanding over a special taxing district. Most recently the commission – spearheaded by Commissioner Tom Scott – has demanded, among other last-minute requirements of city council, changes in the makeup of the city Community Redevelopment Agency (CRA) board. The CRA issue remains a point of contention pending the commission’s final vote June 21.

The sobering reality is that the further removed Central Park Village redevelopment gets from the large-scale Civitas project that the commission sandbagged in 2004, the more like “public housing” it’s likely to be. And the more parochial dithering there is, the more Bank of America, the key private investor, has to wonder about its commitment to Tampa’s political ground zero. And the more delays there are, the more construction costs continue to mount.

That’s a lot worth skipping over.

Ironically, the luncheon’s invocation was given by Commissioner Scott. Too bad he didn’t call upon the Deity for some redevelopment enlightenment.